Saturday, March 22, 2014

Satisfied, Yet??

Satisfied, Yet??

Photo Credit:,d.aWc&psig=AFQjCNEgwzvC5O9hR8GT9RYAowpl0xDoeA&ust=1395602863497656

     I'm contemplating that feeling of being satisfied after a meal vs. being nourished.  I see these people nibbling on dried fruit, nuts and veggies and think, "how can they feel satisfied?" Satisfaction has never included nibbling for me... a nice big meal, followed by a yummy dessert and good company is satisfying - not a handful of nuts.  I don't think I'm alone in this thought process.  If I was, restaurants with giant portions would cease to exist, right?

     We're going deep with this one, Chicks & Chucks .... So, get ready ...

     When does eating food stop needing to be for "satisfaction" and become, instead, to nourish the body?  The purpose of food, technically speaking, is to nourish our bodies.  And yet, it becomes so much more for people like us.  It's comforting, a silent show of rebellion, has the tender touch of a lover, the sharp sting of a scorpion, shame of a Scarlet Letter ("The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne, 1850) and the sinking pull under your covers as you fall into despair over its side effects.  

     To those that understand that last paragraph, I'm talking to you gently, with love and understanding.  There is no judgment in these words, my heart or my thoughts.  I can talk to you like this because, my friends, I have been there.  The thought of nibbling makes me turn into Cindy Crawford ...

Photo Credit:

     ... yyyyeah ... just in this photo .... but you get my drift, right?  Over the past fourteen months of this journey, my mind has slowly started to shift.  My new reality is NOT just about food but also about myself as a person.  I wanted change - I wasn't happy.  I had to want it - for it to be my personal fight and not anything anyone else pushed on me.  Consequently, I've analyzed myself to my core (Uh, can you tell?).  And, I have come to me also with with love and understanding.  Most of the time, that is.

     Slowly, my mind has begun to shift from seeing food as a crutch, friend, lover, scorpion or pulled covers.  It's a slow process to reprogram this thick head of mine.  But, a little at a time, I've started changing my viewpoint on food.

     Chicks & Chucks, food is .... food.  

     And, that's it.  

     I say this gently to you.  Food is nourishment.  It is your MIND and HEART that changes it into something more.  It's a choice.  If you can start to view food as nourishment, everything will start to fall in place one meal at a time.
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     Look at that donut .... what good is it anyway?  Is it wasted calories that could be spent on something better for you?  One change at a time, one small different choice at a time and you will begin to notice.  And each time you face such a decision, and consider if you need it and make the wise decision, food begins to shift into nutrition.

     I actually do snack on dried fruit, yogurt covered nuts and raw almonds now.  I nibble.  It will never be a meal for me, but it's a good, small snack I can eat and then have a good meal later.  I don't know the last candy bar I ate - and that used to be big.  These are the beginnings of my changes but they are deeper than a piece of chocolate.

Photo Credit:,d.aWc&psig=AFQjCNGqH7ee4epPKY8_kVMWv6w_5bu8tg&ust=1395602552170162

    Does the thought of changing your habits in this way make you feeling like Ol' Charlie up there facing a meal that is less than satisfying? Am I saying never eat something for the pleasure of its taste again?


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     Put a mouthful of Jamocha Almond Fudge in my mouth and watch me find a happy place!  It will happen and that's ok.  The thing is, it shouldn't be your NORM but should be your EXCEPTION.  If your reality is in the right place, an occasional exception is NO BIG DEAL.  And, if you fall and feel like you have failed? Just remember, it's a drop in the bucket and keep going.

     For the emotional side, you need a release there.  That need doesn't go away.  I would suggest deciding something in its place that is comforting, feels good, is just a little rebellious, without any negative side effects.  And, if you can find a solution that's orgasmic, well then, hats off to you!  Some good outlets may be a call to a good friend, shopping, exercise, journaling, a good cry, getting a massage, getting your nails done and of course, SEX.  You'll need to figure out what works for you.

     For me, I journal, cry and get busy with projects and exercise.  I am also blessed to have a strong support system of family and friends.  I hope you do too.  I hope you are all doing well!  Don't forget that you can email me at  

     Until next time!!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Houston ... Prepare for Lift-Off!

Houston ... Prepare for Lift Off!

Photo Credit:,d.aWc&psig=AFQjCNGHMezHf9QbN_tBHUGVZsbTUj7i6A&ust=1395194176853896

     We've talked about dents ... now, let's talk about lift-off.  I mean, I wouldn't want to leave you hanging ....
Photo Credit:,d.aWc&psig=AFQjCNEbHyMpi60gUoU6yITDb_ksSA92YQ&ust=1395193691107819

     Isn't it a drag when you can't see your feet? I mean, if you can't SEE your feet, are they REALLY there? Joking aside, anyone who qualifies for this blog probably has that ONE body part and that ONE thing about them that feels ... shameful.  Right?  Like you think people are looking at IT instead of YOU and thinking, "Oh dear GAWD, how in the world does THAT even get like THAT??"

     For me, that body part is my stomach.  I can suck it in, camouflage my clothes, stand in the (almost) right pose in a picture all to make it ... less shameful.  I've worn girdles, bands to make it sweat (hoping I would sweat it away) and done countless sit ups (ok, mayyyybe not "countless" but who's counting?).

     It's "The HANG," right?  That oh-so attractive fold of blubber that blocks our vision, distorts our side view of our body, rolls down our panties and bulges at the top of our pants.  Push out a couple of kids and the HANG now gets the added sexiness of stretch marks.  Good gawd, can't win for trying, it seems.

     We talked about DENTS once, remember?  Noticing those small improvements that seem to appear from no where but are actually because of YOUR hard work.  Well, it's time for lift-off...

     I have two scars above my coochie coo hairline that were hidden by the HANG when I was married.  One is a good 10" long and I was very self-conscious of it.  I once sheepishly asked my husband if they bothered him.  He .... ummmm .... stopped what he was doing, looked up and without missing a beat, said, "What scars?"  I thought it was funny until it dawned on me he had probably never seen them because of the HANG.

     That HANG seems insurmountable, doesn't it?  Like how in the world could THAT ever be FLAT again? Or if not FLAT, then at least not HANGING?  Can I have an AMEN?!

     Well, I'm here to tell you that just this week, I noticed that I no longer have the HANG.  I don't know when that crept up on me, but somewhere along the line, it did.  I've lost 19" off my stomach over the past 14 months and lo & behold, the HANG is gone.  I can see my feet and even those two beautiful scars that were hidden for so long.  I can see how my stomach is getting smaller and if I tilt my head just so and squint my eyes, can actually start to visualize it being FLAT after so many years. It's not FLAT yet, but there's been definite improvement.

     I am ecstatically checking out my belly, my side view and trying on clothes that have hung in my closet forever gathering dust.  You know the ones ... "just in case" .... Well, here I am.  I am NOT bragging but trying to give you all some hope.  Believe me, if I can start to see lift-off, so can YOU.  Keep going, my beautiful Fat Chicks & Chucks.  It IS possible to change that body part - improve it - re-sculpt it and kick the HANG out the door.

     This is where measuring really helps, by the way.  Keep track of your progress.  It's daunting at first but is exciting to see those numbers go down over time.  

     Until next time!

Saturday, February 8, 2014

One Year, Baby!

One Year, Baby!

     This is my one year post.  Yeah, I'm a little late, but by now, you have all probably come to understand that I'm not on time very often.  But, here we go, Folks.  Back in December, 2012, I weighed 232 lbs, my blood pressure was 190/140 and I was having migraines and nose bleeds.  My schedule was crazy - literally 5:30 am - midnight pretty much every day.  When I wasn't working, I found something to work on.  I felt heavy physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I felt ugly and like a football player next to thinner women.  I ate waaaay too much, easily 2500 - 3500 calories a day.  Spaghetti was my weakness and I ate it at least once a week.

     I had been on diets before, of course.  Those high protein diets make me sick.  Invariably, I get stomach pains and for some crazy reason, my period will start up out of the blue.  THAT can't be normal and goodness knows, I only want THAT once a month - not TWICE!  Eating salads just made me want a cheeseburger.  Who gets full on a salad?  Diet drinks, fat pills, binging/purging, massive working out were all things I tried.  But, in December, 2012, I decided to take control.

     Now-a-days, I am eating 1500 - 1800 calories per day.  I've lost 21 lbs in the pictures below, but honestly, I've lost a couple more since these pix were taken just a few days ago.  I drink about 6 glasses of water per day and if I drink soda, it's diet and I generally, can't finish one.  I eat spaghetti about once a month now and ironically, have found that if I over-eat on it, I get sick and have to throw up.  So, my body is forcing me to keep control of that vice.  I've always struggled with dinner - and eating too much at dinner.  I'm doing better with that weakness.  I've concentrated on trying to make my meals more even as far as calories go.  I don't always succeed, but I try.  I used to eat a lot of fast food.  I've definitely reduced that and try to make better choices I can deal with when I find myself at a Mac, Jack or Carl's. I am on blood pressure medication and it's normal - no more migraines or nose bleeds.

     From October - December, I kind of fell off the wagon and gained back 8 lbs.  Man, was that tough.  I almost gave up and felt like a failure.  But, something about the New Year kicked me back into gear.  I've lost 6 of those 8 lbs and moving forward.

     When I took the original pictures below (that's the ones on the left), it was a spur of the moment - here, take these pictures kind of thing.  I'm really glad I did.  I haven't looked at them really, all year until I took the next set (those on the right).  I look at them now and see a tired, bloated woman who looks older than the woman next to her.  I feel like my face just looked like I was dragging where now, I look much more perky.  Not my boobs, but at least at 42, my personality can be perky. LOL sorry, I digress .... I did have to buy different shorts and tank top but I tried to make them consistent with the originals.  Here's my progress at 21 lbs down...

Starting Weight: 232lbs
Current Weight: 211 lbs

Starting Size: 20/22
Current Size: 16

Neck: -0.75"
Bicep: -1.25"
Chest: -3.5"
Upper Stomach: -3.25"
Waist: -5.5"
Belly Button: - 3.5"
Lower Stomach: -3.0"
Hips: -3.25"
Calf: -0.5"
Total: -26.75"

Front View

Side View

Back View - My Favorite

Turtle Neck View
(original is on the right in this one, and the newest is on the left)
Side note: I took the pic on the right thinking I looked pretty hot until I saw the picture and went, OMG, THAT's what my chin/neck looks like?  Really bothered me so part of this journey of mine is to restore my neck and chin as two separate beings instead of one long, turkey neck.

     So, how are you, doing, my friends?  Are you inching forward?  I am proof that small changes in "your reality" can make big differences.  It's not a get thin quick scheme.  I can't promise you will be in a bikini by summer, but I can promise you that you'll feel better about yourself if you keep going.  Take measurements and record them - take photos and be accountable to yourself.  Find the nutrition path you can live with, that allows you to feel and look the way you want.  I have more to go ... really want to be down another 19 lbs by the end of the year. Today, I weighed in at 209.6.  10 more pounds and I'm under 200 for the first time in years.  That's my next goal.  I want to encourage you all to keep your goals and to never, EVER give up. Until next time, my fellow Fat Chicks .... love ya!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Come to Jesus Blog

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You know, I really did mean to write.

You have all been on my mind the past couple of months but did I stay in touch?


I really did mean to stay on track but if it ain't one thing ... it's fifty!

In the past three months, I've:

  • Started dating a guy
  • Realized he was crazy
  • Stopped dating the guy
  • Had Halloween candy
  • Had Thanksgiving dinner
  • Had Christmas dinner
  • Had an amazing trip to San Diego full of good food
Good Lord ... Yes, I meant to stay on track, but I fell off it somewhere around the time I dropped, "Crazy." I went from 208 (wow was I proud the day THAT was on the scale!) back up to 217 (yyyyeah ... not so proud that day).

Yeah, I had good intentions but let's face it, good intentions just aren't enough.  So, this is my "Come to Jesus" blog, my "I'm sorry I'll never do it again" - Oh, who am I kidding?  My "I'll try harder blog" - My "quit my excuses" blog.  In short ....

Well, I did survive the holidays and I'm back on track.  My Fitness Pal accepted my heart felt apology and we are friends again.  I'm back to logging and am happy to say I'm logging pretty much every day now and going strong.

I'm back to doing my bathroom exercises too.  At my new job, I have to walk down a long corridor to get to the bathroom.  I timed it one way and it's 30 seconds.  So round trip is a minute.  I'm keeping track of those walks, walking a little faster and twisting my upper body (to work my obliques) 25x (each side) by the time I reach the bathroom.  Yyyyyeah ... I only do the twists when no one else is around.

Also, I'm taking the stairs 2-3x a day.  72 stairs - 4 flights - not bad.  It's a minute up and a minute down.  I'm keeping track of this too and logging it.  It's hard on my knees though - they sound like gravel shaking up in a can.  So, I've also started taking Glucosimine to help them out.  Haven't seen an improvement yet but I hear it takes awhile.

I'm also trying to do two work outs a week.  I have been going to the gym and walking my dog (who has FINALLY learned how to walk on a leash without dragging me!)

I've been trying to make better food choices as well.  I have reduced my caloric goal to 1560 on My Fitness Pal.  I'm shooting for 1560 - 1800 now.  Just a few weeks ago, I was back to 2000 - 2200 per day.  It just took some adjustments to reign myself back in.  It's hard to believe in December 2012, I was eating 2500 - 3500 calories a day.

All these good intentions are hard for me to forgive but I have pulled up my boot straps and heading back in to battle!  What about you?

Photo Credit:

Monday, August 26, 2013

Constant Cravings

Constant Cravings

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"Even through the darkest phase,
Be it thick or thin,
Always someone marches brave,
Here beneath my skin,
And constant craving,
Has always been." 
- K.D. Lang
(Listen to K.D. Lang's beautiful voice singing Constant Craving here:)

by Beth Weston

I'm going along, doing GREAT
When suddenly I'm reminded of something I ate.
Might have been last year, last month or last night
And, I find my mouth salivating for just another bite.
Be it spaghetti, ice cream, chocolate or fries
It pulls me in with another set of lies..

You're sure to work it off when next you work out
(though you never go, so what's that all about?)
It's just one candy bar, or second plate of food
Eat quickly and no one would possibly know but you
Ahh, the taste - so sweet, so salty, so NOW
Go ahead and pinch an inch, you weak little cow ...

Oh these lies I tell myself when I want to be bad
Then, I wind up frustrated, bloated and mad
What to do? What to do?  When I want what I want?
And every aisle in the store seems to sparkle and taunt?

Of course there's that one week every girl dreads
Chips n Chocolate, Chips n Chocolate is all in her head
So what, my friend, can you possibly do?
To avoid the temptation and and focus on you?

It's OKAY to indulge and even salivate
I would never be one to say it's not a normal state!
It's how much, and of what, that will definitely tell
If you just had a small indulgence or totally fell
Take a few fries off your kids plate - but oh, just a few
Maybe a small ice cream once in awhile will do
Don't forget this is war, so don't fall in the pit
Controlling this small thing is no easy shit.
Be proud when you win
Be forgiving when you "sin"
Get up the next day, stretch and skip the scale
Just one day, so you don't feel you failed
Push yourself forward, keep moving ahead
Indulge rarely, and mostly make healthy choices instead!

Pretty soon, you'll see that your tastes aren't the same
The indulgences are fewer and might even seem lame
Because you change your normal from fattening to free
It won't be long until your salivating for what you might BE
You can do this, my friend,
You can win this war!
So get up once again
And flip off that store.

Challenge of the Day:
Cravings happen - just learn how to control them so they don't control you.  I challenge you to control them one craving at a time.  You get double points if you control them when you're PMSing!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Give Me My Stripper Pole, Please ...

Stripper Pole, Please...
Photo Credit:

Now, I might not be as flexible as Barbie, or look that good in sequins ....
I certainly don't have a pout that seductive ...
and Ken has never, ever tried to hand me a dollar bill .... 

And, if you have gotten to know me well enough through my blogs, you would know that not only would I never attempt to fling my body at a stripper pole (let alone, subject some poor man to watching it) but the fact is, I'd probably wind up being one of those girls in the videos where the pole falls down and I land on my !@#$%^!

So, why then, is the theme of this blog about stripping, you ask?

Well, today it happened.

That "it" I've been waiting for to happen since December 7, 2012.  

I found myself repeatedly pulling up my pants.

Then, I found myself absent-mindedly playing with the thigh on the pants because there was plenty to tug.

And, it hit me ... these pants are too damn big.

I went to the bathroom and checked things out.  These pants used to leave a mark at the waist when I would wear them.  I checked the waist band and guess what?  It pulled out several inches.  And, I found myself measuring the pant legs - wow, at least 4-5" of give in the pant leg.  As they rested on my hips and I pulled them up one more time, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, 


I hadn't really seen the difference though my measurements were telling me I should be seeing something going on.  And, someone told me this week they had lost 50 lbs in 6 months and I got discouraged that I've only lost 15 since December.  But, just like the dents I wrote about before, this was another motivator.  Keep going and maybe, juuuuust maybe I'll buy that stripper pole someday.

Yeah, probably not.  But, that's ok.

As for feeling discouraged about that other person's weight loss (jealous much?), I have to remember that he is on his own journey while mine is completely different.  Where he could drop his weight down that fast, I have learned that quick weight loss doesn't work for me. Why?  Because I wind up losing my motivation and gaining it back. This is not a diet, this is a journey.  My journey.  Little by little as I inch my way along to smaller pants, form-fitting sexy dresses (instead of tents) and cute bathingsuits, I need to remember what I am doing.  I am changing my normal.  

I'm so glad you are here with me.  I'm so happy to share this journey with you all and hope your journey is going well.  Until next time, you wonderful, beautiful, fellow Fat Chicks ....

Challenge of the Day:
Keep your chin up, keep on your journey and watch out for your opportunity to invest in your own stripper pole! Just kidddding!


Thursday, July 4, 2013

Granny Panties

Granny Panties

Photo Credit:

"I'm on the internet ... wearing a diaper?
I'm gonna binge drink now until I pass out." 
 Miri from Zack and Miri make a Porno

There's something to be said about Granny Panties.  They're comfy, cover your butt and are made of cotton so they breathe.  They don't roll down over your belly and wind up at your hips.  You feel like they even offer just a tad bit of tummy control.  And, when it gets down to it and you walk over a man hole and the gust of wind blows up your white dress, all the goods are covered.

Ladies, ladies, ladies ... in case no one has clued you in, Granny Panties are about as sexy as a block of cheese.  Sure, they serve a purpose but you wouldn't put a block of cheese out on a dish and expect people to oooo and ahhh to get a nibble, would you? Be honest ... when was the last time you put on a pair of Granny Panties and twisted in the mirror to admire how they looked?  Probably never.

Photo Credit:

Whether you are small, medium, large, extra large or fluffy, you deserve to feel beautiful.  You deserve to wear pretty things that make you feel feminine.  Soft fabrics, lace, flowers, hearts and maybe even a little dangle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking G-strings, Thongs or anything else itty-bitty that would cut into you.  I want you to be comfortable, yet remember that even large, you are still a woman and women love to feel beautiful.  I like what the model in the picture above is wearing.  She's not a stick, yet is wearing something pretty.  She's still covered, yet feminine and sexy. Having hair like that certainly doesn't hurt!

Putting on Granny Panties is like putting on an apron.  It serves a purpose, can get dirty and can be washed with bleach.  But, sliding on something soft against your skin immediately gives you the feeling of being feminine.  And, no one needs to know (unless you want them to know), but this feeling is just for you. 

Why is that important?  Because taking care of yourself, doing nice things for yourself and allowing yourself to feel beautiful is one step towards self confidence.  Once your self confidence grows, your desire to keep changing your body will grow as well. Pretty soon, you'll notice someone noticing you with a sparkle in their eye.  It all starts within yourself.  It's personal, right?  Start somewhere, my friend.  Start small and let it grow.

Challenge of the Day:
Go buy yourself some pretty panties and bras today.  You don't have to tell anyone but allow that soft feeling of femininity to come over you.  Allow yourself to feel beautiful.  Until next time!