One Girl to Another

Demi Lovato

thats-thewayilovedyou.tumblr.com

I just love Demi Lovato. When she first burst onto the scene with her mega-watt smile, I rolled my eyes and thought how phony she looked.  Then, it came out she was cutting herself.  Next thing she was in a rehab.  Then, she came out with Skyscraper.  And, I became a fan forever.  Now, her music is a bit young for me but the courage, strength and yet, weakness and frailty she showed in that song told me that this girl was REAL.  Genuine.  And, I love her.  In that song, I related to her.

"Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect."

Wow.

I remember back in high school, I weighed at most 155lb.  I wasn't the coolest chick, but I seemed to know everyone and can't think of many, if any, enemies.  I liked so many guys, and a couple even liked me back.  I dated two of the greatest guys ever in my school.  I did well academically because I loved learning.  I loved languages and would study them on my own.

But, in the quiet of my world, I didn't really like who I was.  Not really.  I felt fat, although I had legs like concrete, and my whole body was toned.  What made me feel fat was that I had a soft tummy.  A friend of mine who was a cheer leader once showed me a Sadie Hawkin's photo of her sitting on her boyfriend's lap.  

"Do I look fat?" She asked me quietly.

I looked at her and without blinking, said, "Everybody bends."

It gave her what she needed in that moment.

But, I couldn't give myself such leniency.  I would go to bed and feel my little belly and cry.

I didn't like how my breasts developed. I was embarrassed of them.  They weren't these perky boobies pointing to the sky.  And, that's what I wanted.  I hated them for many years.

I got stretch marks on my boobs, hips and thighs during my teen years. I felt so ugly when I would see them. Who would ever think I was beautiful with so many scars?

On top of that, I had acne on my face, shoulders, arms and back.  That's right, my younger sister used to actually sit and COUNT the number of zits on my back.  I had scars from them.  I felt disgusting.

Then, I grew up.

The acne went away for the most part.  I might get one or two before my period, but my arms, shoulders and back are clear now-a-days.  I had two babies so I got stretch marks on my belly - which isn't quite so small.  My old stretch marks faded.  They are still there, but I really don't notice them anymore.  I learned that no one (but me) expected me to look like a model.  My boyfriends haven't cared about stretch marks.  In fact, they usually have some. Guess what? I didn't care.  I didn't care because I cared for them as a person.  Not whether they had a stretch mark or two. And, they felt the same about me.

My boobs finished developing and yeah, I do wish they were shaped a bit differently.  But, honestly, they've been good to me.  They've been beautiful to the right people.  They've fed both my boys.  And, in the end, I can still fill out a halter top like nobody's business.

My belly has been the tough one for me.  Had I kept up with the life style I had in high school, I probably wouldn't have wound up looking like Alfred Hitchcock, but I did.  It's slowly going down.  Guess what?  I'm still pretty even though I have a belly.  I can lose it as long as I stay on the path I'm on right now.

It's especially hard if you go to school with tiny girls who wear next to nothing.  These size 0 girls who wear short shorts, belly baring tops and seem so ... perfect ... well, they aren't.  It may seem that way now, but believe me they have their issues too.  You don't have to be size 0 or dress like that.  Just be you, in all your glory.

Part of being able to be healthy in your head is to accept who  you are.  It's the hardest during your teen years.  Believe me, I know first hand.  But, I'm here to tell you girls that you are beautiful.  I don't care how heavy you are, you are beautiful girls.  If you don't like how your body develops, understand you are not done yet.  And, you may just wind up liking yourself in the end.  If hindsight is 20/20, I can see my teen years crystal clear and wish I could have seen myself then as I do with my 42 year old eyes.  You can't see hindsight on your teen years yet.  One day, you will and will know how beautiful you are right now.

Challenge of the Day.

Give yourself a break.  Know you are beautiful, right now, right here.  You will someday be able to look back and know this without a doubt.  Until then, let yourself develop and take the steps to be healthy.  Be happy and know you are beautiful.  Until next time ...

Megan Fox

Megan Fox

www.digitalspy.com

I don't know about you ... but when I've lost ALL my weight, I'm going to look like Megan Fox.

Ok, so she's a brunette ... I'll be a BLONDE Megan Fox.

So, I'd have to get my lips injected to EVER have a pout like that...

I could still bend over a car .... and ...

Oh, who am I kidding?

I will never be Megan Fox or ever look like her in the slightest way.

Guess what?  

That's ok.

I don't need to look like her.  She's gorgeous, yes.  She's married to a hottie, yes.  Men fall all over themselves around her, yes.  But, let's face facts.  

I'm 42, been a mother for 16 years and have the stretch marks and boobs to prove it.  So, I need to be realistic about what my end goals are all about.  My first goal is to be under 200 lbs.  The following picture is the closest I can come to showing me like that ...

That one really IS me.  It was taken in 2006 for a dating website that I belonged to at the time.  I needed a profile picture, turned my head and snapped probably the best picture I've ever taken besides my modeling shots on my little cell phone.  I weighed 187lb in this picture.  I felt healthy, toned and sexy.  I was gorgeous but naive about it as I had been so heavy for so long.  A couple of stalkers later and I wasn't as naive.  This is the best I ever was in my adult life and I'd like to get back there.

I weighed in this morning at 220, down from 232, so I'll have to lose another 33lbs to reach this goal. In my head, that might as well be 400 lbs.  Know what I mean?  I've got to think even smaller.

So, I've come to the point that my next goal is to be below where I am right now.  I'm at 220.  I'd like to be 219 or 218.  Talk about a small goal!  My hope is to be one of those numbers by the end of March.  I can do this... it's realistic. Right?  I'm not asking to turn into Megan Fox in two weeks.  No, I just want another dent.  And, maybe a part of my chin back.  I had a lovely chin, I did.  I'll find it one day again soon, I promise.

But, my head thinks - no, no, NO .... your REAL goal is 187lb!  And, then, it's 150lb!  That would put me back in high school weight and I have to say I looked gooood back then.  Wish I had known it then.  For all the teenage girls reading this ... no, save it, I'll write to you guys personally next.

Someday, I will be at a healthy 150lb.  Big Bit says I should be about 120lb tops.  God I love that man, but 120lb in my head might as well be telling me grow another leg.  I remember 150.  I can visualize it.  It seems almost possible though very far away.  120lb was like, 6th grade for me.  I just can't imagine it and honestly, I don't want to.  I have no intention of being a stick.

My point?  Be realistic about your goals.  Aim for something that's actually feasible.  Make small goals to eventually meet that goal.  If you are a Lifer and not a Dieter, it will come in time because you will be living the lifestyle, not playing with it.  VISUALIZE yourself meeting your goals!  Look at an old picture of you where you liked your body.  Never did?  Then, look at one where you were "passable" (in your eyes) and imagine getting there again.  The goal after that may be smaller, healthier, more toned, and sexy.  It's OK to think like that.  It's healthy.  It's motivating.  You can do this!

Challenge of the Day:
Be realistic in your goals.  Visualize what you want to look like.  Make small goals - even tiny goals - to eventually meet your long term goals.  And, let's all give Megan Fox a break - she has to have a bad angle somewhere! :) Until next time, my fellow Fat Chicks!

SWAGGER

I see them coming down the street... they wear their baseball cap, hoodie over their large T shirt, boxers out the top of the pants, low slung jeans tied with a shoe string for a belt, sagging low, with impeccable shoes. Their hands are in their pockets or texting on their phone.  They greet one another with a quick nod.  As they walk past me weeding my yard, I stop to stare at them.  One of them gives me a quick nod and looks away.  The other one is texting and doesn't even notice me.  The other one has his head back, Adam's Apple pushed out, and I have to say, has swagger. The other glides by effortlessly on his skate board, back arched with just enough coolness to say he knows what he's doing on a board.  

I was just never that cool.

Attitude.

We know they have it, right?  They are dripping in it.  As adults, we roll our eyes, but you can't deny they are soaked in attitude from the sticker on their cap to the soles of their shoes.  But, attitude goes way beyond being cool.  It motivates or un-motivates.  It sends someone head first into a dream or holds them back to lay on their bed depressed. It lands someone in jail or keeps them sitting in a corner at a party avoiding talking with other people.

It's the story of the guy that wins the race but only has one leg.  He shouldn't have won.  He shouldn't have been faster.  Yet, he was.  He nailed it and blew away the competition.  Why?  Because prior to running that race, he spent time - weeks, months, years, a lifetime training and cheering himself on.  When everything told him he couldn't do it, HE told himself he could.

You see the same thing with people who seem to have everything handed to them and yet, seem to fail no matter what they try.  Certain celebrities come to mind that continue to get in trouble though they are millionaires and can buy anything they want.  But, they are not respected because they live their lives with a sense of entitlement that normal people find rediculous.  When everyone told them they could do anything and everything they wanted, they did so without thinking.  Their attitude was more in line with a WTF attitude.

Then, there is the person who negatively tells herself that she can't do it.  She isn't good enough.  She isn't as pretty as the next girl. She allows herself to find solace in food, in pulling back from outings, in wearing tents and sleeping all the time.

My fellow, beautiful Fat Chicks ... remember that your attitude is probably the most important thing you can have to make you a success at WHATEVER it is you try and do - your weight, health, job, relationships, etc. Sometimes you are pushed down by what other people say or do.  God, they can be inconsiderate, can't they?  But,it's more important how you handle it, then what they did or said.

Be your own cheerleader.  Root yourself on when no one else is!  And, if they are, well, ALL THE BETTER!  Because that's what loving someone is about - loving them for the person they are, and not how much they weigh.  But, it starts with you.  Do you have swagger?  Get your swag on Ladies!

Challenge of the Day:
Get your swag on when facing your nutrition and exercise routine.  Be your own cheerleader! Tell yourself YES when other people aren't saying that to you.  You can do this!! Until next time...

My Theory on Why People are FAT

It's 5:45pm as I exit the Freeway, after an hour and a half in Rush Hour traffic (I didn't see anyone rushing). What a long day at work... I'm tired, my mascara's smeared, my neck aches and my night is just beginning.  I pull up at my house and honk the horn twice.  My two boys come running out of the house and tumble into the car talking about the latest video game they have played.  They buckle up and we are OFF. 

We have After School Night at 6:30pm, they are "starving" and need hair cuts.  Plus, I need to go grocery shopping since we are low on groceries, bead some jewelry and take my dog for a walk.  I smile at my boys as I pull out my refrigerated case of sliced vegetables and fruits, diced cheese, sliced turkey and individual waters.  I hand them each their organized dinners and ...

Oh, wait, that's not what happened...

They started arguing over that damn video game, I got a head ache and realized I hadn't eaten since 11am lunch.  One slapped the other as I yelled at them to stop and pulled through a drive through.  I ordered three burgers, fries and drinks.  Here's your bag, your bag and my bag.  I slammed that burger down my throat as one boy ate his fries and the other spilled his on the floor and smeared the grease on the window.  I pulled into the Slap n Shear to get their hair cuts and tell them they have 30 seconds to finish their food.  Bam! Bam! Bam!

We leave the car, they get their hair cut, we see their teachers, ohh and ahh, I go shopping, walk the dog and fall exhausted into my bed.  Did I even eat dinner tonight?

So, that's it ... my theory on why people are fat.

We are BUSY.

Life is hectic, children are hard, and we have too much to do in a 24 hour period to ever do everything we need to do by the time we fall into bed.  Let alone get a massage, have sex and get my hair done!

I wish I was the Mom who had time to dice the fruit, vegetables, cheeses and meats - put them in neat containers and have kids eat them without spilling.  I know those Moms are out there somewhere, but it's not me. Even better, let's do that but at a picnic every night on the beach as we watch the sunset and find cool shells.  It just doesn't happen.

We are all busy rushing to this and that and let's face it, fast food is quick and easy and relatively cheap. The thought of trying to juggle driving, a phone call, the radio and a salad with a fork just isn't realistic.  Ok, I exaggerate, but you get my point.

How do we fix this?

Unfortunately, it's all about planning.  And, that's not easy for any of us busy people, now is it?  Planning our meals, planning our days, carrying healthy snacks in case we need a pick-me-up.  Crock pots are good for this if you can prepare the meal in the morning.  Maybe you can do your shopping on the weekend?  Maybe the hair cuts can wait until a night you don't have to go to the school?

Anyway, that's my theory... I could be wrong, what do you think?

Challenge of the Day:
Evaluate your life... your schedule ... your planning.  Can you make changes to allow yourself to plan your meals or exercise routine?  Also, living this way may allow you to have some "me-time" and de-stress from the hard day at work and commute. You may find if you evaluate your life and planning that your schedule opens up for you to allow for more nutritious meal planning, exercise and de-stressing.  Until next time ...

!@#$% Salads

  Just once .... I'd like to feel this way about eating salad.  But, honestly, when I eat salad, I look more like this ...

I don't HATE salad.  I don't.  But, I've always been the person that smothered it in Ranch dressing just to push it down. And, as I've said before, give me the choice of salad or spaghetti and the pasta will win every time.  I don't look at salad as a MEAL.  To me, it's an obligatory part of a meal.  I have never, ever looked at a salad and started salivating.  Ever.

But, facts are facts, aren't they?  As much as I hate to admit it, there is a place for salads in my life.  They are full of vitamins and healthy for your digestive tract.  Yawn, sorry.  They are also low calorie as long as you don't smother them in Ranch.

I no longer eat Ranch, by the way, except on rare occasions (if they have diced eggs on the salad bar, I'm a goner as I love them with Ranch). As I've said before, it's about taking steps, making changes and learning to adjust to a healthier you.  So here's what I've learned ...

1. Adding hot chicken to a salad is actually really good.
2. Topping off a salad with feta cheese is fantastic.
3. Finding the vegetables you actually like (instead of picking out all of the mushrooms, for example) and making your salad with foods that are actually tasty to you make a difference.
4. Adding a salad to a meal regularly will help you eat fewer calories during the meal.
5. Find a dressing you can actually eat that is low calorie and that you like.  Forget lemon on your salads.  I mean, yes, it's low calorie, but taste has to be in there somewhere, right?  I don't mind a low fat cottage cheese on a salad, though. But, on a day-to-day basis, I came up with the following dressing that is low calorie.  

Beth's Easy !@#$% Salad Dressing

Olive Oil

Red Wine Vinegar

Honey Dijon Mustard

Garlic

Salt & Pepper

Mix so it tastes good to YOU, but here's an example of the proportions:

1 tsp Olive Oil

1/4 c Red Wine Vinegar

2 tsp Honey Dijon Mustard

1 tsp minced garlic

Salt & Pepper to taste

Mix it up and pour over your salad.  That's only about 67 calories.  Compare that to Ranch and you come away with a low calorie, yet tasty alternative, if I do say so myself.

Photo Credits: Girl: www.tumblr.com, Cat: www.edeneatseverything.com

Challenge of the Day

Start eating !@#$% salads.  Yes, I'm serious.  Find a way to make them part of your nutritional health.  You will fill up a little better, help regulate your digestive tract and get some vitamins as well!

Rules

They spend all summer getting ready for the new year. They put up posters encouraging students, giving direction and yes, defining the rules of the classroom.  When the students walk into the room, they know right away that they are not walking into a playground.  This is not fun time, friends.  It's time to get to work. It's time to define the rules.

#1 - Keep track of your nutrition on My Fitness Pal (or something similar) and log daily regardless of whether you did well or not that day. Feel free to "friend" me.  My My Fitness Pal name is "beth4dieting."  Just keep logging!

#2 - Meet your caloric goals 80% of the time leaving yourself the other 20% to be human.

#3 - Exercise at least three times a week.  Cardio should be part of each work out.  Then, either isometrics or light weights.  Remember that to tone but not bulk, you should use light weights with more repetitions.  For example, bicep curls with 15 lbs, 3 sets at 12-15 repetitions per set.  Rest for a minute between each set. I will be having some blogs showcasing specific exercises, especially my bathroom exercises coming soon.

#4 - Develop your own rules of your house.  No, I don't mean the ones your kids abide by but the ones that you will abide by.  The following are some of my personal rules:

• Don't keep ice cream in the freezer.  It's too easy to snack on.  If you really, really want some ice cream, go get an ice cream cone.    Or, bring home a tiny container of ice cream and enjoy every bite in that one snack.  Don't do this often.
• Eat off smaller plates instead of large plates.
• Only eat one plate of food.
• Do not buy sugary drinks.  Stick with water, orange juice and fat free milk.
• Drink diet sodas.
• If you eat spaghetti and meatballs, invite me over.  GOTCHA!  Actually figure out where your weaknesses are and develop the rules to make them work in your life.

Having rules gives you structure.  Developing your own set of rules, makes you the owner and controller of your health.  

Challenge of the Day:

Develop the set of rules that will provide you with the ownership of your own health and in turn, destiny.

Special Thanks:

Special thanks to all of you readers, but I want to specifically thank the people in Germany.  It is amazing to me that people are reading my blog world wide.  I am partially German and I appreciate your support.  Vielen Dank für das Lesen meiner Blog!

You can lead a horse to water ...

My hands work as if they have a mind of their own as I cook Thanksgiving dinner.  The bird is buttered, rubbed and baking to a beautiful golden brown.  The eggs have been boiled and I am making my deviled eggs.  "Good thing I made a couple extra," I think. as I pop one into my mouth.  While putting out the dishes, I dip a carrot into some hummus.  I know that sounds weird, but try it, it's good (as are peppers).  I lather my angel food cake with whipped cream frosting and enjoy a mouthful as I do.  Don't mind if I do!  Potatoes are mashed and filled with sour cream, pepper and butter.  Let me try a bite to make sure it tastes right.  Sure does, let me try another - I might even dip a roll into them.  When I finally make it to the table, my stomach is telling me that I'm not really that hungry.  But, hey, it's Thanksgiving so I pile up the food and begin chowing down.  Good Lord, I make a good turkey and gravy!  I start to feel the weight of all of this food in my stomach and eventually put down my fork.  Then, I wait a little while and get some pumpkin pie with whipped cream ...

Does this sound familiar?

All the snacking that nobody sees COUNTS.  You may not think so at the time - hey it's just an EGG - that's not very fattening.  But, it counts.  If you aren't careful, a nibble of this and taste of that and pretty soon, you just don't need another bite, but you take one any way.

Accountability.

Ownership.

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink...

How many times have I heard, "Well I tried <name your diet you tried> but it didn't work.  Then, I tried <the other one you tried> and it didn't work" and so on and so on?  It's not the diet that doesn't work.  Sad to say, it is us Fat Chicks that give up on eating more healthy and exercising regularly.  The diet may have been hard (Prism was the hardest thing I've ever done for three grueling weeks before it didn't work and I returned to my previous habits) but in the end we do that, right?  Go back to fast food, don't measure our salad dressing and eat ice cream.

Taking ownership of your nutrition and exercise routine is the only way any "diet" will ever "work."  If you can admit that the reason they didn't work is that you stopped working it (withholding issues with the program itself - like Atkins ALWAYS got me sick by day 3), then you can take ownership of what you are doing with your body.

Once you take ownership, you will start to control it better.  You will "be the boss" of your nutrition and exercise.  You will "make it work."  That's why I take things in steps.  Jumping gung-ho into a program (and someone else's mindset) is difficult at best.  Take the steps to figure out what works best for you. Reduce your portion size, drink more water, (gag) eat more salads, and exercise.  Once you start taking ownership, it will finally "work."  Not because she said to, or he thinks you'd be prettier if, or that kid in third grade that said those horrible things, or  your class reunion/wedding/whatever coming up.  But, because you want it badly enough to own it.

Hand in hand with ownership is accountability.  You need someone you can talk honestly with - that will be an ear to hear you on good and bad days.  This person should cheer you on, lift you up and motivate you.  This person may also offer advice on where he/she sees you stumbling and hopefully offer guidance on how to get back up.

You can also do self-accountability with programs like My Fitness Pal or keeping a journal.  I've kind of put myself out there with this blog and on Facebook.  I give an update once a month and the support I've gotten back has been incredible. That's not for everyone, though...

Challenge of the Day:
Take ownership of your nutrition and exercise regime!  Be accountable to yourself and someone you trust! Until next time...

Measuring vs. Scale

Photo credits: www.bike-bliss.com, www.mirror.co.uk


     Do you know how hard it was to find a photo of a normal looking girl measuring herself??  I had to sift through many photos of Skinny Chicks measuring themselves and I thought, there's no way I'm putting some model checking the size of her tiny mid section on this page.  So, granny panties and all, I was relieved to find Ms. Normal up there measuring her body.  

     Ok, off my soap box, let's get down to business...

     I know you all want that magic number on the scale to be (much) smaller than it is right now.  So, do I!  I'd love to step up on it just once and see it at 150lbs.  But, alas, it doesn't ... yet.  I use weighing myself as a form of accountability.  I only weigh myself once or twice a week at most.

     Why?

     Because, if you start weighing yourself every day, you will get addicted to it.  Am I crazy?  Nope.  It's addictive to see how your weight has changed in the morning, and also to see what the food from the night before has done to your weight.  But, keep in mind that (especially we women) we deal with fluctuation in weight due to water gain.  So, weighing once, at most twice, a week is more of a general number.

     But, there are rules, my fellow Fat Chicks!  Yes!  Weigh yourself first thing in the morning, completely naked!  No hair ties, wrist watches, towels ... nothing, but good ol' glorious YOU.  And, do it before you eat so that you don't have the weight of a meal in your tummy.  And, for god's sake, don't wear shoes.

     Also, if you know you are doing what you need to do with your weight, and you have to go to the doctor's, there's nothing more discouraging than stepping onto their scale fully dressed, in the middle of the day, wearing shoes, and hearing you weigh 5lbs more than you read in the morning.  Before you step up on the scale, tell the nurse that you are monitoring your weight and do not want to know what her scale says.  Then, don't look at it.  If you are losing, I guarantee, the doctor will make some sort of comment about it.

     The weight on the scale doesn't always indicate your loss however.  You may be tightening up, losing fat but gaining muscle and since muscle weighs more than fat, find that you've gained weight.  Don't get discouraged!  Once a month, take out a measuring tape and measure your body naked.  You can find the soft, measuring tape in any sewing section and sometimes at a grocery store.  I measure my neck, bicep, chest, upper stomach, waist, belly button, lower stomach (yeah, can you tell I'm a little stomach conscious?), hips, thighs and calves.

     Keep a journal of your measurements.  It's fun to see a loss and it stinks to see a gain, but at least you have an accurate understanding of where your body is at that moment.  I keep track of my measurements by month so I can see what I have lost over all.  So, far I'm just under 15" off my whole body.  Again, don't get addicted to measuring yourself either.  Once a month - that's it!

Challenge of the Day:
Buy yourself a digital scale and a measuring tape.  Take your measurements naked and weigh yourself.  Don't let yourself get discouraged over the numbers!  You are changing them!!  Record them in an Excel spreadsheet (my personal choice) or a journal.  Weigh yourself  once or twice a week and measure your body once a month.  Until next time ...

These shoes were made for walkin'

... and that's just what they'll do ....

     Walking is such a simple exercise, isn't it?  We throw on weather appropriate clothing and walking shoes and just GO.  Of course, you may have issues where walking is difficult for you.  Check with your doctor before starting any exercise program.  But, in general ...

     If you can't afford the gym (or are uncomfortable there), and you don't have your own at-home gym, then, invest in a good pair of sweats and get yourself a good pair of walking shoes.  Be prepared to spend $75 - $100 for a good pair at Nike, etc.  If you can find a Nike outlet (or something similar), then, you may find them cheaper.  You can also invest in a pedometer (a device which tells you how many steps you have taken) but I found they fall off when I use them so I go by the amount of time I walk.

     Remember that you aren't going for a marathon here, ok?  Start with small walks like 15 minutes - 30 minutes.  Go during a time of day when you can enjoy the weather.  Sunset is a favorite time for me.  You may wind up going longer.  I sometimes walk my dog for a good 90 - 120 minutes now-a-days.

     Here's a little information on what you burn in calories while walking:

     If walking at a slow pace of 3 miles per hour (think - this is a slow dog walk) for 30 minutes, on average, you will burn 166 calories.  If walking a faster pace of 4 miles per hour (think - this is a dog drag) for 30 minutes, on average, you will burn 251 calories.  That's not chump change!

     If all things are constant and yet, you can burn 250 calories a day, you will slowly start to see a change in your body and attitude! Once you are comfortably walking regularly, you may want to start jogging.  A slow jog for 5 minutes at a time during your walk will start to prepare your muscles for a change.  Eventually, you will stretch out that 5 minutes, to where, hopefully, you are walking 5 minutes and jogging the other 25.

     Keep in mind, though, that walking, jogging or running is tough on your joints.  If you have bad knees, then wear a knee brace/wrap.  You can also use a Treadmill or Elliptical machine at the gym for the same type of work out.  The Elliptical is best on your joints and simulates jogging but without impact on the ground.

     It's time to get moving my fellow Fat Chicks!  You can do it!!

Challenge of the Day:
Get yourself a good pair of walking shoes, put on some sweats and go for a walk!

Sticks 'n' Stones

Sticks and stones

may break my bones

but words will

never hurt me.

     What a bunch of horse shit.  Yet, how many of us sang that very song as we walked away from some bully as kids?  With an imaginary chip on our shoulder, we sing-songed through it and acted like we didn't care.  But, we did.  

     I can't really talk for you.  But, I can tell you, I cared.

     I mostly got made fun of for my name (you just have no idea how many nick names there are for "Elizabeth"), or my accent (I grew up between California and Kansas.  I never had the right accent in either state) or my weight.  

     I wasn't a fat kid.  I was active and played football, baseball, woofleball, hung from clothes lines, played Hide and Seek, Tag, swam vigorously and many more fun things to do outdoors.  But, genetics being what they are, I started to get a bit thick around 10 years old.  By 13, I weighed 136lbs.  This was a tough number for me, because it was the "heaviest" weight my mother had ever weighed ... and I was hitting it in 8th grade.  In high school, I fluctuated around 155lbs.  Looking back, I had legs of steel, a nice toned back and a soft, but mostly flat tummy.  It was just never good enough (in my eyes).

     Nick names like "gut" and "fat ass" played through my head when I looked at my body.  Or, worse, a comment made about the size of my clothes or shoes haunted me when I went up to the next size or the next. If I was fat two sizes ago, well, what did that make me now? Even years later, an insensitive comment might surface and pull back my sensitive self esteem.  I'm now 42 years old and weigh 221.  I'm down from 232 ... oddly I feel like I have to tell you that in order to justify that 221 somehow.  I've learned that children are just mean.  Plain and simple.  I am so thankful not to have grown up in the age of Facebook, Instagram, OoVoo, etc., where kids maliciously attack other kids even to the point of suicide.  The worst I had to deal with was whispering, a secret note being passed or flat out being called a name.

     At 42, I really don't care what people think of me.  Well, that's a lie to a point.  But, in place of my body, I want people to think I'm smart or a good mother.  I've learned I'm sexy no matter what weight I'm at and although I may not be able to wear everything on a rack, I find what suits my body best and go for it.  I have even finally forgiven those that made me feel smaller out of their ignorance.  I did, because, quite frankly, if you stay in the past, you just don't ever move forward.

     I know you were probably called names too, bullied or abused.  I want  you to know that I'm sorry that happened to you.  That I wish I could wipe away every bad word, painful experience or tear and replace it with encouragement, laughter and self-esteem.  It's much easier said than done, isn't it? Far too easily, some rude comment plays in the recesses of your mind when you try on clothes, or see yourself in the mirror.  

     You have to move forward, my friend.  You ARE beautiful.  Those that bullied you were WRONG.  There was NOTHING about you that should have been picked on.  When those nagging thoughts fill your mind and you begin to doubt yourself, you need to tell them to "shut up."  And, you also need to tell yourself that you are beautiful.  It may be hard to look at yourself and say those words.  But, you need to hear it.  And, if no one is telling you, then you need to say it to yourself.  Say it with confidence!  Say it with defiance!  Yet, say it.  And, accept it.

Challenge of the Day

Lay to rest all of the stupid, ignorant, mean, horrible, hurtful things you have been told by allowing yourself to believe in yourself and see yourself as the beautiful person you are.  Remind yourself that children are MEAN.  That kids (or unfortunately, some adults) said things through ignorance or their own self-esteem issues.  You didn't deserve it.  Ever.  Let it go... Believe in yourself.  Until next time ....

     

     

Embrace Your Curves

Yeah, that's not me.

This is a photo of a plus sized model from Plus Magazine.  And, I love it.  She's curvy, sexy, confident, beautiful and wearing killer shoes.

If I could give each and every one of you one thing, it would be to accept yourself.  I've covered that in one of my first blogs, but in this one, I want to take it a step further.  Yes, you accept yourself as a good person, but do you accept your appearance?

Oh, how I hate when someone says, "She'd be so pretty if she'd just lose a few pounds."  Or, "She has a pretty face."  So, what?  The rest of me isn't pretty?  I almost want to say, "Well, you'd be smart if you had half a brain."  Or, "You'd have a pretty face if yours wasn't so ... well, ugly." Ahh, but I take the high road and don't ever say those things out loud.

But, I do accept my body.  Sure, I get down on it every now and then when I feel like a beach ball.  But in the end, loving your body is more than accepting it when you are the "right size" (whatever THAT is).  And, my body has been good to me.  It is beautiful and sexy.  It is sensitive to touch and enticing.  It is mine.  And, although it's not where I want to be in the end, it's where I am right now and I'm thankful for it.

Your body is curvy and soft.  You have breasts, a butt, hips and a soft tummy. That's ok.  Your body is sensitive to touch, sexy and beautiful.  Artists have painted your body for centuries as the essence of womanhood.  And, hopefully you enjoy a healthy relationship with someone who views your body as the sexy, beautiful part of you that only he/she can aim to please.

If you want to be prettier, then take the steps to be prettier.  Get a good hair cut, learn how to wear make up, spray a light perfume and dress in a way that flatters your body.  Get your nails done, wear jewelry and accessorize your look with a nice purse or clutch.  No one looks great all the time, but take the time to look your best often.

Also, pamper your body.  Sink into a tub of bubbles, bath salts and surround yourself with candles and music.  Lay back and relax, letting that water soak your skin and soften every part of your body.  Shave your legs, arm pits and bikini area.  Apply lotion to your body afterwards and sink into something soft and cuddly.  Go get a massage, pedicure, manicure or facial.  Your body is the only one you've got so love it, pamper it and please it.

Finally, be confident in your sexiness.  Forget turning off the lights and hiding under a blanket to be intimate with your lover.  Leave the lights on, and enjoy each other physically and visually.  And remember, you are beautiful.  You are sexy.  You are confident.  You are woman.

Challenge of the Day
Love, pamper and please your body.  Take steps to improve your looks if you feel they need to be.  Allow your lover to enjoy your curves without hiding yourself from him/her.  Accept your body and your beauty.  Until next time ...

Fashion Police

                                     Photo Credit: 
Photo credit: 
The beautiful Melissa McCarthy's credit is tvlistings.zap2it.com and for the glamorous Adele is www.stylespectro.com.

So, there I was, at Ross.  I had been there for an hour thumbing through the myriad of clothes racks.
I had thumbed through a couple hundred of clothing items, tried on 24 pieces and had one in my cart.
Seeing the edge of the cutest shirt in the world, I picked it up and found it just might fit over my thigh,
but certainly wouldn't make it over my breasts.  Sigh.  Why are cute styles reserved for small sizes?

It seems like the larger the size of clothing, the tackier the style.  Garish animal prints, loud geometric
designs, bright colors and ruffles.  Good lord, who wears ruffles beyond elementary school? 
To top it off, designers use horizontal stripes (and we ALL know that's taboo!)
I also found lots of leggings, shorts and flowy tent dresses in a "one size" style.

Is that what I am reduced to wearing?

Tents?

Tacky, garish, loud patterns?

Ruffles? 

No, my friend, it's not. We aren't clowns.  We are women (and men) and deserve to dress beautifully.

I've added two photos above of two beautiful, sexy fat chicks that I admire greatly - Melissa McCarthy and Adele. 
Of course, they have their bad days.  They must, right? And, yes, I know ... they have stylists.
But, you can also learn from them.

Notice that although Melissa is wearing a bright color, she's also wearing vertical stripes.
Her jacket is cut at waist level so that the stripes give a slimming look to her mid area.
And, you know what? She's gorgeous.

Adele has gone for the simple, yet elegant black dress, stylish heels and stockings.  It's one line of color.
It's slenderizing.  It lengthens her body and it's classy.  Again, gorgeous.

Stay away from garish patterns that do nothing but make your body look bigger.
Don't wear leggings.  Don't believe me?  Google Walmart fashion and you'll never wear them again.
They are only flattering on skinny chicks, sorry to say.

If you have a stomach that hangs, then make sure your shirt covers the hang. It's still there, but it won't be the
center of attention.  And, for god's sake, it will cover that g-string or Granny Panties you're sporting should you bend over.  
Find a couple of nice, mid-length jackets to do what Melissa did above and slenderize your mid-area.

Stick with solid colors with a splash of color, if you want.  Black, navy blue, gray and browns all slenderize.
Black is the go-to for heavy women, but don't be afraid of color.  Just use it wisely like Melissa did.  
And, choose your pattern wisely.

Don't wear clothes that are too tight.  You may think you look thinner because you squeezed into a smaller size.
But, the truth is that you just look like you squeezed into a smaller size.  It's ok for your clothes to be your size.
Eventually, as you travel on your journey, they will get smaller.

IF you are going to wear capri pants, wear them with heels.  Wearing capris with tennis shoes is an optical illusion.
It makes the illusion that you have small stubby legs and draws attention to the rest of you.
Heels lengthen the look and overall, look more attractive.  If you have to wear tennis shoes, stick with shorts or pants.

As for those one size fits all dresses ... If I say "Mrs. Roper" you know exactly who I am talking about right?
You know exactly what her character dressed like.  Don't be known as Mrs. Roper.
Those dresses are great in the summer in moderation.  Don't wear them all the time, but as a splash of something different.

Challenge of the Day
Be your own fashion police.  Check out what other Fat Chicks are wearing. What works, and what doesn't.
Improve your look by being aware of it and making wise choices.  Until next time ...

When in Rome ...

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do"  by Ambrose

You are going to find yourself in situations where as much as you mean to, it is difficult to control the food around you.  Places such as company catered lunches for a day of training, for example, or a birthday party, etc.  So, what do you do in these situations?

... Do as the Roman's do.

The last company training day I attended catered a big salad, a huge red pasta concoction, a creamy pasta dish and flat bread pizzas.  It wrapped things up with a tray of Tiramisu and a selection of sodas. Not exactly the easiest environment to control given your selection, now is it?

But, that's life.  You will find yourself in these situations often.  So, what should you do?

Should you politely excuse yourself stating that you are on a "diet" and can't eat these things, rummage through your purse til you find your last Balance Bar and eat it while the other people at your table chow down?  No.  That draws people's attention directly to you and invariably to your body.  Who gives a rip what they think?  They don't need to know you are "on a diet." And, you don't need to put yourself in a situation of being the outcast, in the spotlight, different ... alone.

Plus, if you are a Lifer, do you really want to have to act this way in these types of situations for the rest of your life? Of course not.  So, you have to manage these situations and think through them.

Now, I have made no bones about the fact that I am not a fan of salad.  Give me a plate of spaghetti or a colorful salad with all the trimmings and I'll take spaghetti every time.  But, salad does have its place and it is healthy so unfortunately, can't be avoided.  There are times when it also can be a meal-saver.  

Get your plate and fill it half way with salad.  Give yourself the choice of one of the entrees.  Do you want the red or cream pasta or the flat bread pizza?  Just don't take all three.  Fill a 1/4 of your plate with that dish.  If you really want Tiramisu, it can take the other 1/4.  OR, skip dessert and have a double helping of the pasta to feel more full.  Drink a diet soda.  

This way, you eat like everyone else, you are not the center of attention (for something you'd rather not draw attention to) and don't feel like you're under a magnifying glass.  You also won't feel like you are sacrificing your food because you are "on a diet."  You will eat your meal, just like everyone else and feel better in the end. 

The trick is not to go back for seconds. I can't tell you how many times I've been in situations like this and found myself going up to the table again to get more ... <insert what it is that's calling you>  Many times, I've been the only one going back and it's embarrassing. 

So, how do you get around this?  Start talking to someone.  Eat your food slowly and get into a conversation.  Use that conversation as a shield to keep you in your seat until the speaker is ready to start class again.  This is harder at a party or family get together, but it's not impossible. And, when all is said and done, be damn proud of yourself for winning this battle, for staring down that second helping and kicking it to the curb.

Challenge of the Day
... Do as the Romans do ... but with wisdom and purpose.  Use conversations as your allies.  Fill your plate as well as you can and join your friends.  Then, stick to your seat.  If you are hungry later, eat that Balance Bar in your purse.  You can do this!  Until next time ...

A Year of Living Dangerously ...

The date was 1/1/2004.  I thought about what I might want to do for my New Year's resolution.  I couldn't face failing yet another resolution to lose weight.  So, I made the following resolution:

"I resolve to spend the entire year trying foods I always said I would never eat."

Yes, I was a picky eater growing up.  I liked ketchup but wouldn't dream of putting a tomato in my mouth.  I turned my nose up to mushrooms as I gingerly pulled every tiny tidbit out of my food before putting the bite in my mouth.  I hated fish unless  it was Fish 'n' Chips. I had a bad experience with spinach where I threw it up on someone so the  mere thought of eating spinach was enough to make me gag.

It was time to face this part of me that I had safely snuggled against and guarded.

So, I did just that.  Amazingly, it was the one New Year's resolution I truly did keep.  I tried tomatoes on cheeseburgers and in burritos.  I tried spinach both raw in salad and cooked.  I tried artichoke by itself and also in my sister's Spinach and Artichoke dip.  I ate Salmon for the first time.  I tried mushrooms - both raw and cooked.  What did I learn?

Well, I learned that I absolutely LOVE Salmon if it's well-done.  That revelation led me to trying other fish and I found I love Halibut, Mahi Mahi, Tilapia, Cod, Pollock ... wow, I love fish. Also, I like tomatoes well enough to add them into my diet, however, I would never eat one like an apple.  I've seen some people salt a tomato and go for it and that just grosses me out.  I like spinach raw in a salad but really don't care for it cooked.  That said, I could eat my sister's Spinach and Artichoke dip by the gallon.  Who knows why?  I don't, but it's delicious.  I hate artichoke otherwise though.  And, I really, truly, to my core hate mushrooms raw or cooked.  They disgust me and you couldn't pay me to eat them ever again.

The moral of the story?

Take a look at the foods you eat.  Think about the foods you always swore you'd never eat. Take a year to live dangerously and try these foods all over again.  You may find new favorites ... or confirm that you truly do detest something.  But, give it a shot.  You might be surprised!

Challenge of the Day
Take a year to live dangerously and redefine your food palate!

Of course you know ... this means WAR!

Photo credit: mylifelivedwithfat.wordpress.com

The soldier slid on her boot, fixed her beret so it sat perfectly on her neatly styled head.  She looked herself in the mirror and found no trace of the young, timid girl who once looked back.  No, that girl was gone - left to play Barbies in her memory.  In her place stood a warrior, with a resolute chin and determined eyes.  Someone who had become stronger physically and mentally.  Her course was straight.  Her aim on target.  She is a soldier.  And, she's ready to fight. She joins the other soldiers on the battle field all standing together in unity to face the "Battle of the Bulge."

Don't EVER underestimate yourself.

You are in a FIGHT and are a SOLDIER!  A WARRIOR!  A guiding force that WILL change your reality. YOU have the ability to stand FIRM, face OPPOSITION and WIN!

Even if that opposition is YOURSELF.

My beautiful, beautiful fellow Fat Chicks ... remember that this is not a game.  This is not a freakin' diet.  This is not a joke.  This is a WAR.  You must guard yourself at all times.  Guard yourself from weaknesses, from places that are difficult to stay on course, and from other people.  Guard yourself from those people that would knock you down or try to demean what you are doing in your life.  Note, I did NOT say what you are TRYING to do in your life, but what you are DOING!

Yes, you may have "tried" before.  They know it.  You know it.  They may roll their eyes at you or worse, say things to you that cut you down.  But, you STAND TALL.  They will EAT their looks and their words as you prove steadfast and consistent.  You will NEVER be perfect.  Anyone who thinks they will be is unrealistic.  But, you CAN BE BETTER - you can be HEALTHY.

And, be prepared to support the other warriors you know.  Join together with friends and family who are determined to change their reality and fight for themselves.  Encourage one another!  Congratulate each other!  Be there when one of you feels down.

Remember, my program is not to make you jump into the mind set of a Triathlete.  They can easily eat few calories a day and go work out every day for a couple of hours.  Their bodies are ripped, and conditioned for their day to day reality.  IF you try to jump into their reality directly from your reality, you will fail.  I'm sorry, but it's true.  Why?  Because it's too big of a jump and few people truly have a Triathlete's mind set - especially someone who's struggled with their weight.

That's why my program is about being a LIFER.  It's about taking your health into steps to eventually be where you want to be.  It's about acknowledging your reality.  It's about accepting yourself for WHO you are right now.  Not who you will be when you lose xx amount of pounds.  And, it's about WAR.  Gear up Ladies.  Support one another!  Steel yourself to face this battle every day until the day comes that it is no longer a battle.  Where you have WON by altering your reality.

You can do this, Soldier!

Challenge of the Day
FIGHT for yourself!  Become a WARRIOR in your life.  Become your HERO.  Be steadfast and consistent.  Be supportive of our other warriors.  And move on!  Until next time ....

At the Movies

As I walked in, the sickeningly enticing smell of movie popcorn swirled around my body, up my nose and pulled away beckoning me with its tantalizing fingers and motioning for me to come right this way.  I glided across the floor, the tips of my toes seeming to drag behind me as only they touched the floor.  It pulled me up to the cash register where a pimply faced teenager cheerfully offered to help me.  I found myself ordering a medium popcorn.  Pimple-faced teenager with a name tag that said, "Chad" offered to let me upgrade my order to a large for a mere .25 cents.  How could I pass it up?  My new best friend, Chad, then offered to put butter on the popcorn.  Unable to speak, I simply nodded my head, while a small amount of drool slid out the corner of my gaping mouth.  "Can I get you anything else?" asked Chad.  I pointed to peanut M&M's and a Coke (which we upgraded to a large for another .25 cents, because you know, it's refillable).  "That'll be $24.50, " my Chad said with a sparkling smile and twinkle in his eyes.  I laid down the money, and carried my goods to the movie theater where I chowed down.

Ok, I'm exaggerating, but seriously, going to the movies is serious business. There are certain places we Fat Chicks need to be on alert and ready to fight.  Buffets are Enemy #1, followed closely by the movies.

A small movie buttered popcorn is about 370 calories - that's 6 CUPS of popcorn.  A medium movie buttered popcorn jumps up to 800 calories - that's 10 CUPS of popcorn. A large movie buttered popcorn has 1640 calories for 20 CUPS of popcorn.

We don't think about how much is in that bag, do we?  We sit with our eyes transfixed on the screen, shoveling handful after handful of that rich, buttery popcorn into our mouths without really thinking about how much we are eating.

To put this into perspective, on My Fitness Pal, my daily goal of calories is 1800 calories a day.  IF I were to eat a large bag of buttered popcorn, god forbid I then eat dinner!

We all know that candy is a killer.  But, we don't walk into a movie theater and get slammed in the face with a chocolate smell, do we?  No, it's the popcorn.  Since we are talking about candy, though, I would recommend you buy your candy at the store before going to the movies.  The last time I went, I got Skinny Cow candy bars.  They are little, but delicious and only 110 calories each.  Not bad.

That soda is a killer too, by the way.  Stick with diet drinks or GASP! water.  How I hate spending $5 for a damn water, but it's cold and has no calories and good for you too.

As I've said from the beginning, take steps to make changes in your eating habits so that your reality becomes a different "norm."  I'm certainly not going to tell you to buy UN-buttered popcorn (gag!) but think before you purchase.  Get a small bag of popcorn - that's 6 whole cups!  A couple of Skinny Cow candy bars and you've blown TOPS 400 - 600 calories.  Now, that's not chump change, but if you manage the rest of your day, you can consider it a treat and just move forward.

Oh, and Chad?  Don't let that kid talk you into upgrading your order.  He's just repeating back to you what has been repeated back to him to make sales.  He really doesn't care if you get a small, medium or large, but has to ask.  This is one of those moments when you tell yourself "NO" and look him in the eye and say, "No thanks, a small's fine."  He'll push it ... "are you sure?"  Just nod your head yes.  Believe me after the movie, you'll feel good about not eating a full day's worth of calories in two hours.

Challenge of the Day:
Be prepared when putting yourself in a situation where it's easy to slip up and over-eat.  Guard your mind in advance.  Pick out your snacks before you enter the realm of temptation.  And know what your goal is before you let the smell of that popcorn lift you off your feet and drag you to Chad.