Demi Lovato
I just love Demi Lovato. When she first burst onto the scene with her mega-watt smile, I rolled my eyes and thought how phony she looked. Then, it came out she was cutting herself. Next thing she was in a rehab. Then, she came out with Skyscraper. And, I became a fan forever. Now, her music is a bit young for me but the courage, strength and yet, weakness and frailty she showed in that song told me that this girl was REAL. Genuine. And, I love her. In that song, I related to her.
"Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect."
Wow.
I remember back in high school, I weighed at most 155lb. I wasn't the coolest chick, but I seemed to know everyone and can't think of many, if any, enemies. I liked so many guys, and a couple even liked me back. I dated two of the greatest guys ever in my school. I did well academically because I loved learning. I loved languages and would study them on my own.
But, in the quiet of my world, I didn't really like who I was. Not really. I felt fat, although I had legs like concrete, and my whole body was toned. What made me feel fat was that I had a soft tummy. A friend of mine who was a cheer leader once showed me a Sadie Hawkin's photo of her sitting on her boyfriend's lap.
"Do I look fat?" She asked me quietly.
I looked at her and without blinking, said, "Everybody bends."
It gave her what she needed in that moment.
But, I couldn't give myself such leniency. I would go to bed and feel my little belly and cry.
I didn't like how my breasts developed. I was embarrassed of them. They weren't these perky boobies pointing to the sky. And, that's what I wanted. I hated them for many years.
I got stretch marks on my boobs, hips and thighs during my teen years. I felt so ugly when I would see them. Who would ever think I was beautiful with so many scars?
On top of that, I had acne on my face, shoulders, arms and back. That's right, my younger sister used to actually sit and COUNT the number of zits on my back. I had scars from them. I felt disgusting.
Then, I grew up.
The acne went away for the most part. I might get one or two before my period, but my arms, shoulders and back are clear now-a-days. I had two babies so I got stretch marks on my belly - which isn't quite so small. My old stretch marks faded. They are still there, but I really don't notice them anymore. I learned that no one (but me) expected me to look like a model. My boyfriends haven't cared about stretch marks. In fact, they usually have some. Guess what? I didn't care. I didn't care because I cared for them as a person. Not whether they had a stretch mark or two. And, they felt the same about me.
My boobs finished developing and yeah, I do wish they were shaped a bit differently. But, honestly, they've been good to me. They've been beautiful to the right people. They've fed both my boys. And, in the end, I can still fill out a halter top like nobody's business.
My belly has been the tough one for me. Had I kept up with the life style I had in high school, I probably wouldn't have wound up looking like Alfred Hitchcock, but I did. It's slowly going down. Guess what? I'm still pretty even though I have a belly. I can lose it as long as I stay on the path I'm on right now.
It's especially hard if you go to school with tiny girls who wear next to nothing. These size 0 girls who wear short shorts, belly baring tops and seem so ... perfect ... well, they aren't. It may seem that way now, but believe me they have their issues too. You don't have to be size 0 or dress like that. Just be you, in all your glory.
Part of being able to be healthy in your head is to accept who you are. It's the hardest during your teen years. Believe me, I know first hand. But, I'm here to tell you girls that you are beautiful. I don't care how heavy you are, you are beautiful girls. If you don't like how your body develops, understand you are not done yet. And, you may just wind up liking yourself in the end. If hindsight is 20/20, I can see my teen years crystal clear and wish I could have seen myself then as I do with my 42 year old eyes. You can't see hindsight on your teen years yet. One day, you will and will know how beautiful you are right now.
Challenge of the Day.
Give yourself a break. Know you are beautiful, right now, right here. You will someday be able to look back and know this without a doubt. Until then, let yourself develop and take the steps to be healthy. Be happy and know you are beautiful. Until next time ...
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