Constant Cravings

Constant Cravings

Photo Credit: undergroundwellness.com

"Even through the darkest phase,

Be it thick or thin,

Always someone marches brave,

Here beneath my skin,

And constant craving,

Has always been." 

- K.D. Lang

(Listen to K.D. Lang's beautiful voice singing Constant Craving here:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXqPjx94YMg

Cravings

by Beth Weston

I'm going along, doing GREAT

When suddenly I'm reminded of something I ate.

Might have been last year, last month or last night

And, I find my mouth salivating for just another bite.

Be it spaghetti, ice cream, chocolate or fries

It pulls me in with another set of lies..

You're sure to work it off when next you work out

(though you never go, so what's that all about?)

It's just one candy bar, or second plate of food

Eat quickly and no one would possibly know but you

Ahh, the taste - so sweet, so salty, so NOW

Go ahead and pinch an inch, you weak little cow ...

Oh these lies I tell myself when I want to be bad

Then, I wind up frustrated, bloated and mad

What to do? What to do?  When I want what I want?

And every aisle in the store seems to sparkle and taunt?

Of course there's that one week every girl dreads

Chips n Chocolate, Chips n Chocolate is all in her head

So what, my friend, can you possibly do?

To avoid the temptation and and focus on you?

It's OKAY to indulge and even salivate

I would never be one to say it's not a normal state!

It's how much, and of what, that will definitely tell

If you just had a small indulgence or totally fell

Take a few fries off your kids plate - but oh, just a few

Maybe a small ice cream once in awhile will do

Don't forget this is war, so don't fall in the pit

Controlling this small thing is no easy shit.

Be proud when you win

Be forgiving when you "sin"

Get up the next day, stretch and skip the scale

Just one day, so you don't feel you failed

Push yourself forward, keep moving ahead

Indulge rarely, and mostly make healthy choices instead!

Pretty soon, you'll see that your tastes aren't the same

The indulgences are fewer and might even seem lame

Because you change your normal from fattening to free

It won't be long until your salivating for what you might BE

You can do this, my friend,

You can win this war!

So get up once again

And flip off that store.

Challenge of the Day:

Cravings happen - just learn how to control them so they don't control you.  I challenge you to control them one craving at a time.  You get double points if you control them when you're PMSing!

Give Me My Stripper Pole, Please ...

Stripper Pole, Please...

Photo Credit: www.flickr.com

Now, I might not be as flexible as Barbie, or look that good in sequins ....

I certainly don't have a pout that seductive ...

and Ken has never, ever tried to hand me a dollar bill .... 

And, if you have gotten to know me well enough through my blogs, you would know that not only would I never attempt to fling my body at a stripper pole (let alone, subject some poor man to watching it) but the fact is, I'd probably wind up being one of those girls in the videos where the pole falls down and I land on my !@#$%^!

So, why then, is the theme of this blog about stripping, you ask?

Well, today it happened.

That "it" I've been waiting for to happen since December 7, 2012.  

I found myself repeatedly pulling up my pants.

Then, I found myself absent-mindedly playing with the thigh on the pants because there was plenty to tug.

And, it hit me ... these pants are too damn big.

I went to the bathroom and checked things out.  These pants used to leave a mark at the waist when I would wear them.  I checked the waist band and guess what?  It pulled out several inches.  And, I found myself measuring the pant legs - wow, at least 4-5" of give in the pant leg.  As they rested on my hips and I pulled them up one more time, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, 

"YOU GO GIRL."

I hadn't really seen the difference though my measurements were telling me I should be seeing something going on.  And, someone told me this week they had lost 50 lbs in 6 months and I got discouraged that I've only lost 15 since December.  But, just like the dents I wrote about before, this was another motivator.  Keep going and maybe, juuuuust maybe I'll buy that stripper pole someday.

Yeah, probably not.  But, that's ok.

As for feeling discouraged about that other person's weight loss (jealous much?), I have to remember that he is on his own journey while mine is completely different.  Where he could drop his weight down that fast, I have learned that quick weight loss doesn't work for me. Why?  Because I wind up losing my motivation and gaining it back. This is not a diet, this is a journey.  My journey.  Little by little as I inch my way along to smaller pants, form-fitting sexy dresses (instead of tents) and cute bathingsuits, I need to remember what I am doing.  I am changing my normal.  

I'm so glad you are here with me.  I'm so happy to share this journey with you all and hope your journey is going well.  Until next time, you wonderful, beautiful, fellow Fat Chicks ....

Challenge of the Day:

Keep your chin up, keep on your journey and watch out for your opportunity to invest in your own stripper pole! Just kidddding!

0

Granny Panties

Granny Panties

Photo Credit: www.facebook.com

"I'm on the internet ... wearing a diaper?

I'm gonna binge drink now until I pass out." 

 Miri from Zack and Miri make a Porno

There's something to be said about Granny Panties.  They're comfy, cover your butt and are made of cotton so they breathe.  They don't roll down over your belly and wind up at your hips.  You feel like they even offer just a tad bit of tummy control.  And, when it gets down to it and you walk over a man hole and the gust of wind blows up your white dress, all the goods are covered.

Ladies, ladies, ladies ... in case no one has clued you in, Granny Panties are about as sexy as a block of cheese.  Sure, they serve a purpose but you wouldn't put a block of cheese out on a dish and expect people to oooo and ahhh to get a nibble, would you? Be honest ... when was the last time you put on a pair of Granny Panties and twisted in the mirror to admire how they looked?  Probably never.

Photo Credit: efashionhelp.com

Whether you are small, medium, large, extra large or fluffy, you deserve to feel beautiful.  You deserve to wear pretty things that make you feel feminine.  Soft fabrics, lace, flowers, hearts and maybe even a little dangle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking G-strings, Thongs or anything else itty-bitty that would cut into you.  I want you to be comfortable, yet remember that even large, you are still a woman and women love to feel beautiful.  I like what the model in the picture above is wearing.  She's not a stick, yet is wearing something pretty.  She's still covered, yet feminine and sexy. Having hair like that certainly doesn't hurt!

Putting on Granny Panties is like putting on an apron.  It serves a purpose, can get dirty and can be washed with bleach.  But, sliding on something soft against your skin immediately gives you the feeling of being feminine.  And, no one needs to know (unless you want them to know), but this feeling is just for you. 

Why is that important?  Because taking care of yourself, doing nice things for yourself and allowing yourself to feel beautiful is one step towards self confidence.  Once your self confidence grows, your desire to keep changing your body will grow as well. Pretty soon, you'll notice someone noticing you with a sparkle in their eye.  It all starts within yourself.  It's personal, right?  Start somewhere, my friend.  Start small and let it grow.

Challenge of the Day:

Go buy yourself some pretty panties and bras today.  You don't have to tell anyone but allow that soft feeling of femininity to come over you.  Allow yourself to feel beautiful.  Until next time!

Work Out Buddies

Work Out Buddies

Photo Credit: acam.typepad.com

You see them coming from a mile away ... clad in sexy work out attire, looking fly, daring you NOT to check out that cleavage.  They've got swagger, and strut their stuff like beauty queens.  You half expect one to pull a stripper pole out of her bag.

Yeah right.  

I don't know about you but those socks would irritate the hell outta me, that chain would find a fold to fall into, my boob would flop out mid-stride and that gold uni-tard would have sweat stains in the most unattractive places ... When I work out, I tend to be in an over-sized shirt and shorts and well, that's just fine enough for me.

But, these girls have an important thing to teach you.  Yes, they do. Yeah, I'm serious.

They kinda match each other in flamboyance and confidence/arrogance.  And, that's what we are talking about today ... finding a good work out buddy that matches YOU.

It's so hard to find that person, isn't it?  To be honest, my most consistent work out buddy is my dog.  She is always ready to go and motivates me (read: pulls my arm out of its socket) to keep going when we go for a walk.  Most of the work out buddies I've had fall by the wayside sooner or later.  They are either too busy, too tangled up in drama or not dedicated to hitting the gym as you are.  It's irritating.  Kinda like those socks, isn't it?  Just rubs you the wrong way.

So, here's my recommendation ... find yourself a good friend hopefully that is as motivated as you are.  Don't go work out with a Barbie doll because you won't feel motivated but will feel self-conscious next to her like she brought along her favorite football player to hold her pom-pom's.  Know what I mean?  So, someone that matches you but wants it as badly as you do. This person should motivate you, encourage you and cheer you on - just like you should do for her.

Next, pick a time that is realistic and that you both can commit to showing up.  If you are a trained tri-athlete, you MIGHT be willing to hit the gym at 4am "to beat the rush."  But, for most of us, dragging our butts out of bed at 0 dark 30 is just that ... a drag.  Right after school gets out is another bad time - why?  Well, Mom will probably have to run errands, take the kids to soccer practice or do homework so not a good time.  For  me, the best time is after dinner.  The day is done, kids are fed, homework's completed (I hope), my errands are run and after I'm done, I can shower and hit the sheets.  I like it too because I feel like I've burned off some of the calories I've put on during the day and I can feel it the next morning.

Hopefully, you find someone who's in it for the long haul and not just for 30 days.  That is so irritating!  Maybe you can't go every day, but try and at least commit to 2 - 3 times a week together.  You will see a difference!!

Challenge of the Day!

Match yourself up with a good work out buddy!  Then, motivate each other, encourage one another, laugh during your work out and have fun.  You will find that working out is not a bore or a drain, but something you look forward to!  Until next time, you lovely Fat Chicks ...

!@#$% Thigh Gap!

Photo Credit: Totallyloveit.com

Have you heard about this?

Not only do we have to worry about having a flat stomach, perky boobs, full butt, toned legs and arms, but NOW we have to worry about whether we have Thigh Gap.

WTH??

If it wasn't enough that I have to worry about all these other things, I now need to worry about whether I have a GAP where my thighs meet up with my coochie-coochie-coo?

Good Lord.  

When I lived in California, I would see women stand like this all time:

Photo Credit: agefotostock.com

I saw that a lot.  And, not just on celebrities but on co-workers, or teen age girls waiting to get into a restaurant.  Man, I can't even stand right.  How the hell are they going to have their thigh gap standing like this?!

This will be the demise of society, and we all know it.  I hereby make the decree that with all the suffering in the world, starvation, bombings, natural disasters, governmental disasters, terrorists, child abuse, and mental illness,  you better damn well stand right and have a friggen gap up by your coochie-coochie-coo if you are going to fit in with society.

Damn, how do I even add taking the measurement of that area to my list of measurements every month?  My measuring tape? I couldn't stand with legs crossed to do that.  A ruler?  What if my gap is wider than a ruler? What if my ruler disappears?

Who am I kidding?

Do I need to just say it?

What IDIOT got it in their heads that women/girls should stand like this and mandate we have a gap up .... well up there?  How many teen age girls are going to become anorexic because their gap isn't wide enough?  What happened to women being soft creatures and curvy?  I doubt Marilyn Monroe had a friggen thigh gap and yet, isn't she the epitome of feminine sexiness?

Ignore this, fellow Fat Chicks.  Don't you DARE allow yourself to look at your crotch and think, "if only I had a thigh gap."  And, I better not see you standing on the corner with your legs crossed ridiculously like that.  Hell, if it was me, I'd fall over.  I'm more concerned that I don't rub my thighs raw rather than if I have a gap there.  (As for the rubbing raw, wear a pair of work out shorts under your pants and you won't rub raw).  

We are better than this superficiality, Ladies.  Goodness, even if I could pull off a thigh gap and cross my legs like I have to pee all the time, where in the world would I ever wear such a cute short dress and stylish shoes?  I don't think that look works at the grocery store.

We are REAL, Ladies (and Gentlemen).  We are not this superficial spectacle on the news (on the news!!) that is being put in front of us.  Don't buy into it.  Don't wonder if your legs are good enough because of a gap.  Just be you.  Good ol' glorious, beautiful YOU.

Challenge of the Day:

Find a way to measure your thigh gap standing with your legs crossed , standing on your head, wearing a hot black dress and heels.  OOOORRR, just be you.  Until next time ....

Target Zones

Photo Credit: 80smuscle.blogspot.com

I can't tell you how often I've been spurred to action that I wanted to start doing some basic exercises like sit ups or crunches right before bedtime.  So, I would start doing like 50 a night.  Inevitably, some ultra fit person would say to me, (hands on hips, raised eyebrow) "Well, you know you can't target zones to lose weight."  And, in that moment, I would feel like well why the hell was I even making an effort if it doesn't matter?

Sucks, huh?

In that one good-intentioned moment, they would knock me out of that spurring to action and back to going to bed like normal.  Here's what I think ... I think that stud who arrogantly popped a hole in my balloon of good intentions meant well.  See, he was thinking like a "skinny chick" (I like the idea of him thinking like a girl so I'm not going to change that).  He had the mindset of a Tri-athlete.  No, he wouldn't target any zones, because he worked his zones all the time.  He was ripped, he was tanned (ala George Hamilton), he was wearing a scrawny tank top, and was oiled just perfectly enough that each chest hair curled on its own.

Yeah, I'm exaggerating, but you get the picture, right?

A Fat Chick CANNOT jump into the mindset of a Tri-Athlete!  We physically can't do it and doom ourselves to failure each and every time we decide to take it on.  Of course, he was right, it isn't about targeting zones.  It's about living a healthy life style.  It's about consistency and working your whole body.

But, does that necessarily mean that you can't target a zone?

Of course not.  You can't target a zone if that's all you target.  But, doing some crunches before bed, or side twists after using the bathroom, or cooking on one foot, whatever it is you do that targets an area is not for nothing!  It builds strength and will help to tone that area.  Of course you need cardio, watch your food, and work out regularly, but don't for a minute think your efforts to do SOMETHING in place of NOTHING are without merit.

And, if you want to oil up, get tanned, wear a scrawny tank top ... don't be surprised to find your picture in my next blog .... just kiddddddding!

My next few blogs will target some exercises you can do.  I hope they are easy for you, but if not, pull back a little.  And, of course check with your doctor before starting any exercise routine, blah, blah, blah.

Challenge of the Day:
Do SOMETHING in place of NOTHING and ignore the 80's throw-back, stud who can't think like YOU. Until next time ...

Water Weight Gain

I know about water weight.  I'm a girl, after all.  All of us chicks (fat or skinny!) experience bloating every month.  But, you know what? Even though I know this, I fell prey to water weight gain's evil curse last month. I weighed in at a whopping 3.8lbs more than expected.  Crap!  I wanted to throw that evil, sneering scale into the wall.

But, no.

I gave myself a few days and the weight fell off like magic.  It was great.  But, I didn't trust it.  Know what I mean?  Like some evil fairy had pulled back some pounds when I weighed in and then would magically plop them back on my mid-section by morning.

I thought I would give you all some facts about this menace to society, to women's self-esteem everywhere!  This nemesis to fitting into a bathingsuit by summer!

Go to war!
Instead of throwing the scale through the wall or creeping back under the covers, let's go over how to tell if that jump on the scale is real weight or water weight.  According to "Real Weight Vs. Water Weight" (http://www.truelemon.com/live-healthy/nutrition/608-real-weight-versus-water-weight.html) you can tell if your weight jump is real or water if you have have gained more than half a pound since the day before. Check this out from the article:

If you have kept track of your body fat percentage with a body fat monitor, you can   compare your current percentage to your results from a month ago. If the new measurement is greater than before, you’ve gained fat. If your body fat percentage has decreased but your weight has increased, the weight gain is not from added fat.

Check your extremities: are your hands, feet and ankles puffy? If yes, it is likely that your gain is water related. When you are retaining excess water, you might also notice imprints in your skin left by your socks, or your wedding ring may be tighter than usual.

Many possible causes exist for retaining water, including too much salt, sugar, dehydration, too much alcohol, dieting and women’s monthly cycle. Among other tips, if you are concerned about water weight, make an effort to drink more plain water. While it seems like the opposite of what you need to do, drinking 8 to 10 glasses per day will help flush sodium and excess fluid from your system. A well-hydrated body is healthier and is less likely to retain water.

So, don't freak out if you suddenly jump on that scale.  If you are being a Lifer and not a Dieter, it will all work out in the end.  One day or a few of being a little higher won't kill you.  

Challenge of the Day:

Less salt!  More water!  Get it?? :) Until next time!

Sleep Apnea

photo credit: www.stopobesityforlife.com

The stories were laughed about at holidays ... how my Mom thought there was an earthquake in the middle of the night and came running down the hall ... only to find me snoring; my young son waking me up terrified, "Mommy!  You're making scary noises again!"  My ex-husband wearing ear plugs to sleep with me.  My sister not being able to sleep in the next room so crawling into my parents' bed to get away from my snoring. It had become a joke.  An embarrassment.  A fact of life.  Then, a worried friend took me aside and said the one thing that changed everything...

"I think you're stopping breathing and I'm worried about you."

Huh?

And, so, I took the magical step and had a Sleep Study done.  I imagined a white sterile room, with a small army cot behind two-way mirrors while a team of doctors stood by and watched me snore.  They would nod their heads and mutter, "Ummmm, hmmmm" and write something in their tablet.

It wasn't like that after all.

I went to the clinic and I was led to my bedroom.  That's right, a cozy, comfy bedroom with an adjoining bathroom.  There, they put this tooth-paste-like stuff in my hair and attached electrodes to them.  The electrode wires ran down my entire body, down my legs and arms and yet was done in a way that if I had to drop my drawers, I could.  They put a Pulse-ox on my finger and explained if I was showing signs of Sleep Apnea, they would put this mask over my head.  I laughed and said there was no way I could sleep with one of those things on.

Then, I went to bed. 

I vaguely remember getting up to use the bathroom (yeah the pants really did drop down with all the electrodes still attached).  Even more vague, I kinda remember being sat up and a mask sliding over my face.  Three hours later, I woke up feeling like I could run a mile.

Here's what I learned:

1. I stopped breathing 49 times in 1 hour.
2. My legs moved constantly (Restless Leg Syndrome).
3. My blood oxygen level dropped to 86 (should be in the 90's.  80's are stroke zone).
4. In 3 hours, I got 10 minutes of REM sleep.  (You should get 1 full hour of REM sleep for every two hours of sleep.  This is where your body rests, de-stresses, heals, grows)

After they put the mask on me:

1. I stopped breathing 0 times in 3 hours.
2. My legs didn't move position once.
3. My blood oxygen level stayed in the 90's.
4. I got 1 full hour of REM sleep in 3 hours.

I can't stress enough to get a sleep study done if you suspect you might be an excessive snorer or that you are stopping breathing.  There's a chance, when I lose all of my weight, that I will not have Sleep Apnea. At that time, I'll gladly trade in my mask for some Victoria's Secret.  Until then, I slide on my "scuba mask" every night and go diving ... into a great sleep.

Challenge of the Day:

Get yourself a Sleep Study done if you suspect you may have Sleep Apnea.  It's not the sexiest look, but you can look sexy and THEN put on your mask :)  Until next time ....

Slippery When Wet

Photo credit: www.thekickasslife.com

She can hear him washing up in the bathroom.  If she could just lift her head, she could juuuust barely see his beautiful body as he moved around.  Through a field of eye lashes, she dreamily watches for him and sighs with quiet contentment at how relaxed she feels.  She lays naked, entwined in her sheets as if in a lover's embrace.  Her hair lays matted and wet, coiled against her skin.  Her smooth skin glistens with beads of sweat.  One lone bead slips down her back and she feels it slowly slide down and rest in the small of her back.  She breathes in the heady, musky scent of their love making, stretches her body and closes her eyes in the satisfaction that can only come from the best stress reliever known to man.

SEX

Oh yeah, you knew this would come up eventually didn't you?  The best exercise EVER! Not only does it relieve stress, but it also burns quite a bit of calories.  The following statistics are taken from Women's Day's article called, "Sexy Ways to Burn Calories" .... did you know ....

1. Kissing burns 68 calories an hour.
2. Undressing burns 8+ calories total.
3. Massaging burns 80+ calories per hour.
4. Having sex burns 144+ calories per half hour.
5. Giving oral sexy burns 100+ calories per half hour.
6. Using your hands burns 100+ calories per hour.
7. Romantic dancing burns 103+ calories per half hour.
8. Making out burns 238+ calories per half hour.

If you'd like to read the article in Women's Day, here it is:  http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/sex-tips/8-sexy-ways-to-burn-calories-110923

If you are not in a relationship, or one where you don't have sex anymore, all is not lost.  In general, masturbation burns 25-30 calories every 20 minutes and an orgasm blasts about 100 calories. (source: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_calories_do_you_burn_while_masturbating)

Challenge of the Day:
Get your freak on!  Go burn some calories in the absolute best way known to man!  Have fun, be safe, and work that beautiful body!  Until next time ....

Walking Between Raindrops

photo credit: www.dreamstime.com

Imagine, if you will ... a girl wearing a bright, yellow raincoat stepping gingerly over puddles as rain pours down all around her.Her matching yellow umbrella sits just inches from her head as she attempts to avoid getting wet.  

Suddenly, she realizes that she is NOT wet.  Not one drop of water has hit her umbrella, raincoat or galoshes.  She holds her tiny hand out to catch a raindrop but it stays dry although the drops fall all around her hand.  She moves her hand to try and capture at least one wet raindrop but as she moves, the raindrops scurry out of her way.

She lowers her umbrella and watches in amazement as the drops fall all around her and yet, never hit her.  She begins to walk, then run, skip and dance in the rain without a single drop touching her.  She throws her umbrella to the side, peels off the raincoat and galoshes and frolics in the downpour unscathed.

Then, she feels it..... one drop on her bottom lip hanging on as if for dear life before it plummets to the ground.  She turns her face heavenward and in an instant, the clouds darken and coil angrily waiting to strike.  She sucks in her breath as fear grips her chest.  The sky opens and unleashes a torrent of rain.  And, just as suddenly as she was dry ... she is now soaked to the skin and running through the rain, slipping in the mud and wondering where, oh where is her umbrella?  raincoat? galoshes?  She is left unprotected, soaked and cold as she hurries home.

That story pretty much sums up the past two weeks for me.  I was doing just fine, using My Fitness Pal, exercising, seeing my weight drop gradually and then it happened.  I had logged for 70 days straight on My Fitness Pal which is the longest I've ever logged.  I was proud of it, dare I say a bit arrogant?  Then, one day about two weeks ago, I went to enter my food and it was already filled in.

WTH?

I had mistakenly logged my food on the NEXT day instead of the CURRENT day and therefore, broke my streak.

Seems like such a small set back.

But, it wasn't.

I tried to pull it back together but I kept missing an entry or day and missing the accountability.  I wound up gaining back 3.8lbs in two weeks.  Considering I'm only losing 3-5lbs per month, that's huge.  That storm dumped right on my head and I've had a hard time pulling it back together.  I have purposefully not measured.  I don't want to know what 3.8lbs has done to my measurements.  I know that if I don't pull things together, in six months this will be just another failed diet ahhh-gain.

So, I am letting you all know what's going on (Accountability).
It's no one's fault but my own (Ownership)
I started back on My Fitness Pal (Progress)
I bought goggles to start swimming soon (Planning).
I'm giving myself til this Saturday before I measure again (Being a Lifer instead of a Dieter).

I'm picking myself up, throwing up my umbrella and continuing my journey.

Challenge of the Day:
How is your storm?  Are you walking between raindrops, getting drenched or protecting yourself as you make your way through the downpour?  I recommend you protect yourself... and if you screw up, keep going.  Until next time ...

Shout Out to SWEDEN!
Tack för att du läser min blogg! Jag faktiskt talar lite svenska och har en god vän från Helsingborg. Jag har alltid velat besöka ert vackra land. Tack för ert stöd. Tills nästa gång!

One Girl to Another

Demi Lovato

thats-thewayilovedyou.tumblr.com

I just love Demi Lovato. When she first burst onto the scene with her mega-watt smile, I rolled my eyes and thought how phony she looked.  Then, it came out she was cutting herself.  Next thing she was in a rehab.  Then, she came out with Skyscraper.  And, I became a fan forever.  Now, her music is a bit young for me but the courage, strength and yet, weakness and frailty she showed in that song told me that this girl was REAL.  Genuine.  And, I love her.  In that song, I related to her.

"Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect."

Wow.

I remember back in high school, I weighed at most 155lb.  I wasn't the coolest chick, but I seemed to know everyone and can't think of many, if any, enemies.  I liked so many guys, and a couple even liked me back.  I dated two of the greatest guys ever in my school.  I did well academically because I loved learning.  I loved languages and would study them on my own.

But, in the quiet of my world, I didn't really like who I was.  Not really.  I felt fat, although I had legs like concrete, and my whole body was toned.  What made me feel fat was that I had a soft tummy.  A friend of mine who was a cheer leader once showed me a Sadie Hawkin's photo of her sitting on her boyfriend's lap.  

"Do I look fat?" She asked me quietly.

I looked at her and without blinking, said, "Everybody bends."

It gave her what she needed in that moment.

But, I couldn't give myself such leniency.  I would go to bed and feel my little belly and cry.

I didn't like how my breasts developed. I was embarrassed of them.  They weren't these perky boobies pointing to the sky.  And, that's what I wanted.  I hated them for many years.

I got stretch marks on my boobs, hips and thighs during my teen years. I felt so ugly when I would see them. Who would ever think I was beautiful with so many scars?

On top of that, I had acne on my face, shoulders, arms and back.  That's right, my younger sister used to actually sit and COUNT the number of zits on my back.  I had scars from them.  I felt disgusting.

Then, I grew up.

The acne went away for the most part.  I might get one or two before my period, but my arms, shoulders and back are clear now-a-days.  I had two babies so I got stretch marks on my belly - which isn't quite so small.  My old stretch marks faded.  They are still there, but I really don't notice them anymore.  I learned that no one (but me) expected me to look like a model.  My boyfriends haven't cared about stretch marks.  In fact, they usually have some. Guess what? I didn't care.  I didn't care because I cared for them as a person.  Not whether they had a stretch mark or two. And, they felt the same about me.

My boobs finished developing and yeah, I do wish they were shaped a bit differently.  But, honestly, they've been good to me.  They've been beautiful to the right people.  They've fed both my boys.  And, in the end, I can still fill out a halter top like nobody's business.

My belly has been the tough one for me.  Had I kept up with the life style I had in high school, I probably wouldn't have wound up looking like Alfred Hitchcock, but I did.  It's slowly going down.  Guess what?  I'm still pretty even though I have a belly.  I can lose it as long as I stay on the path I'm on right now.

It's especially hard if you go to school with tiny girls who wear next to nothing.  These size 0 girls who wear short shorts, belly baring tops and seem so ... perfect ... well, they aren't.  It may seem that way now, but believe me they have their issues too.  You don't have to be size 0 or dress like that.  Just be you, in all your glory.

Part of being able to be healthy in your head is to accept who  you are.  It's the hardest during your teen years.  Believe me, I know first hand.  But, I'm here to tell you girls that you are beautiful.  I don't care how heavy you are, you are beautiful girls.  If you don't like how your body develops, understand you are not done yet.  And, you may just wind up liking yourself in the end.  If hindsight is 20/20, I can see my teen years crystal clear and wish I could have seen myself then as I do with my 42 year old eyes.  You can't see hindsight on your teen years yet.  One day, you will and will know how beautiful you are right now.

Challenge of the Day.

Give yourself a break.  Know you are beautiful, right now, right here.  You will someday be able to look back and know this without a doubt.  Until then, let yourself develop and take the steps to be healthy.  Be happy and know you are beautiful.  Until next time ...

Megan Fox

Megan Fox

www.digitalspy.com

I don't know about you ... but when I've lost ALL my weight, I'm going to look like Megan Fox.

Ok, so she's a brunette ... I'll be a BLONDE Megan Fox.

So, I'd have to get my lips injected to EVER have a pout like that...

I could still bend over a car .... and ...

Oh, who am I kidding?

I will never be Megan Fox or ever look like her in the slightest way.

Guess what?  

That's ok.

I don't need to look like her.  She's gorgeous, yes.  She's married to a hottie, yes.  Men fall all over themselves around her, yes.  But, let's face facts.  

I'm 42, been a mother for 16 years and have the stretch marks and boobs to prove it.  So, I need to be realistic about what my end goals are all about.  My first goal is to be under 200 lbs.  The following picture is the closest I can come to showing me like that ...

That one really IS me.  It was taken in 2006 for a dating website that I belonged to at the time.  I needed a profile picture, turned my head and snapped probably the best picture I've ever taken besides my modeling shots on my little cell phone.  I weighed 187lb in this picture.  I felt healthy, toned and sexy.  I was gorgeous but naive about it as I had been so heavy for so long.  A couple of stalkers later and I wasn't as naive.  This is the best I ever was in my adult life and I'd like to get back there.

I weighed in this morning at 220, down from 232, so I'll have to lose another 33lbs to reach this goal. In my head, that might as well be 400 lbs.  Know what I mean?  I've got to think even smaller.

So, I've come to the point that my next goal is to be below where I am right now.  I'm at 220.  I'd like to be 219 or 218.  Talk about a small goal!  My hope is to be one of those numbers by the end of March.  I can do this... it's realistic. Right?  I'm not asking to turn into Megan Fox in two weeks.  No, I just want another dent.  And, maybe a part of my chin back.  I had a lovely chin, I did.  I'll find it one day again soon, I promise.

But, my head thinks - no, no, NO .... your REAL goal is 187lb!  And, then, it's 150lb!  That would put me back in high school weight and I have to say I looked gooood back then.  Wish I had known it then.  For all the teenage girls reading this ... no, save it, I'll write to you guys personally next.

Someday, I will be at a healthy 150lb.  Big Bit says I should be about 120lb tops.  God I love that man, but 120lb in my head might as well be telling me grow another leg.  I remember 150.  I can visualize it.  It seems almost possible though very far away.  120lb was like, 6th grade for me.  I just can't imagine it and honestly, I don't want to.  I have no intention of being a stick.

My point?  Be realistic about your goals.  Aim for something that's actually feasible.  Make small goals to eventually meet that goal.  If you are a Lifer and not a Dieter, it will come in time because you will be living the lifestyle, not playing with it.  VISUALIZE yourself meeting your goals!  Look at an old picture of you where you liked your body.  Never did?  Then, look at one where you were "passable" (in your eyes) and imagine getting there again.  The goal after that may be smaller, healthier, more toned, and sexy.  It's OK to think like that.  It's healthy.  It's motivating.  You can do this!

Challenge of the Day:
Be realistic in your goals.  Visualize what you want to look like.  Make small goals - even tiny goals - to eventually meet your long term goals.  And, let's all give Megan Fox a break - she has to have a bad angle somewhere! :) Until next time, my fellow Fat Chicks!

SWAGGER

I see them coming down the street... they wear their baseball cap, hoodie over their large T shirt, boxers out the top of the pants, low slung jeans tied with a shoe string for a belt, sagging low, with impeccable shoes. Their hands are in their pockets or texting on their phone.  They greet one another with a quick nod.  As they walk past me weeding my yard, I stop to stare at them.  One of them gives me a quick nod and looks away.  The other one is texting and doesn't even notice me.  The other one has his head back, Adam's Apple pushed out, and I have to say, has swagger. The other glides by effortlessly on his skate board, back arched with just enough coolness to say he knows what he's doing on a board.  

I was just never that cool.

Attitude.

We know they have it, right?  They are dripping in it.  As adults, we roll our eyes, but you can't deny they are soaked in attitude from the sticker on their cap to the soles of their shoes.  But, attitude goes way beyond being cool.  It motivates or un-motivates.  It sends someone head first into a dream or holds them back to lay on their bed depressed. It lands someone in jail or keeps them sitting in a corner at a party avoiding talking with other people.

It's the story of the guy that wins the race but only has one leg.  He shouldn't have won.  He shouldn't have been faster.  Yet, he was.  He nailed it and blew away the competition.  Why?  Because prior to running that race, he spent time - weeks, months, years, a lifetime training and cheering himself on.  When everything told him he couldn't do it, HE told himself he could.

You see the same thing with people who seem to have everything handed to them and yet, seem to fail no matter what they try.  Certain celebrities come to mind that continue to get in trouble though they are millionaires and can buy anything they want.  But, they are not respected because they live their lives with a sense of entitlement that normal people find rediculous.  When everyone told them they could do anything and everything they wanted, they did so without thinking.  Their attitude was more in line with a WTF attitude.

Then, there is the person who negatively tells herself that she can't do it.  She isn't good enough.  She isn't as pretty as the next girl. She allows herself to find solace in food, in pulling back from outings, in wearing tents and sleeping all the time.

My fellow, beautiful Fat Chicks ... remember that your attitude is probably the most important thing you can have to make you a success at WHATEVER it is you try and do - your weight, health, job, relationships, etc. Sometimes you are pushed down by what other people say or do.  God, they can be inconsiderate, can't they?  But,it's more important how you handle it, then what they did or said.

Be your own cheerleader.  Root yourself on when no one else is!  And, if they are, well, ALL THE BETTER!  Because that's what loving someone is about - loving them for the person they are, and not how much they weigh.  But, it starts with you.  Do you have swagger?  Get your swag on Ladies!

Challenge of the Day:
Get your swag on when facing your nutrition and exercise routine.  Be your own cheerleader! Tell yourself YES when other people aren't saying that to you.  You can do this!! Until next time...

My Theory on Why People are FAT

It's 5:45pm as I exit the Freeway, after an hour and a half in Rush Hour traffic (I didn't see anyone rushing). What a long day at work... I'm tired, my mascara's smeared, my neck aches and my night is just beginning.  I pull up at my house and honk the horn twice.  My two boys come running out of the house and tumble into the car talking about the latest video game they have played.  They buckle up and we are OFF. 

We have After School Night at 6:30pm, they are "starving" and need hair cuts.  Plus, I need to go grocery shopping since we are low on groceries, bead some jewelry and take my dog for a walk.  I smile at my boys as I pull out my refrigerated case of sliced vegetables and fruits, diced cheese, sliced turkey and individual waters.  I hand them each their organized dinners and ...

Oh, wait, that's not what happened...

They started arguing over that damn video game, I got a head ache and realized I hadn't eaten since 11am lunch.  One slapped the other as I yelled at them to stop and pulled through a drive through.  I ordered three burgers, fries and drinks.  Here's your bag, your bag and my bag.  I slammed that burger down my throat as one boy ate his fries and the other spilled his on the floor and smeared the grease on the window.  I pulled into the Slap n Shear to get their hair cuts and tell them they have 30 seconds to finish their food.  Bam! Bam! Bam!

We leave the car, they get their hair cut, we see their teachers, ohh and ahh, I go shopping, walk the dog and fall exhausted into my bed.  Did I even eat dinner tonight?

So, that's it ... my theory on why people are fat.

We are BUSY.

Life is hectic, children are hard, and we have too much to do in a 24 hour period to ever do everything we need to do by the time we fall into bed.  Let alone get a massage, have sex and get my hair done!

I wish I was the Mom who had time to dice the fruit, vegetables, cheeses and meats - put them in neat containers and have kids eat them without spilling.  I know those Moms are out there somewhere, but it's not me. Even better, let's do that but at a picnic every night on the beach as we watch the sunset and find cool shells.  It just doesn't happen.

We are all busy rushing to this and that and let's face it, fast food is quick and easy and relatively cheap. The thought of trying to juggle driving, a phone call, the radio and a salad with a fork just isn't realistic.  Ok, I exaggerate, but you get my point.

How do we fix this?

Unfortunately, it's all about planning.  And, that's not easy for any of us busy people, now is it?  Planning our meals, planning our days, carrying healthy snacks in case we need a pick-me-up.  Crock pots are good for this if you can prepare the meal in the morning.  Maybe you can do your shopping on the weekend?  Maybe the hair cuts can wait until a night you don't have to go to the school?

Anyway, that's my theory... I could be wrong, what do you think?

Challenge of the Day:
Evaluate your life... your schedule ... your planning.  Can you make changes to allow yourself to plan your meals or exercise routine?  Also, living this way may allow you to have some "me-time" and de-stress from the hard day at work and commute. You may find if you evaluate your life and planning that your schedule opens up for you to allow for more nutritious meal planning, exercise and de-stressing.  Until next time ...

!@#$% Salads

  Just once .... I'd like to feel this way about eating salad.  But, honestly, when I eat salad, I look more like this ...

I don't HATE salad.  I don't.  But, I've always been the person that smothered it in Ranch dressing just to push it down. And, as I've said before, give me the choice of salad or spaghetti and the pasta will win every time.  I don't look at salad as a MEAL.  To me, it's an obligatory part of a meal.  I have never, ever looked at a salad and started salivating.  Ever.

But, facts are facts, aren't they?  As much as I hate to admit it, there is a place for salads in my life.  They are full of vitamins and healthy for your digestive tract.  Yawn, sorry.  They are also low calorie as long as you don't smother them in Ranch.

I no longer eat Ranch, by the way, except on rare occasions (if they have diced eggs on the salad bar, I'm a goner as I love them with Ranch). As I've said before, it's about taking steps, making changes and learning to adjust to a healthier you.  So here's what I've learned ...

1. Adding hot chicken to a salad is actually really good.
2. Topping off a salad with feta cheese is fantastic.
3. Finding the vegetables you actually like (instead of picking out all of the mushrooms, for example) and making your salad with foods that are actually tasty to you make a difference.
4. Adding a salad to a meal regularly will help you eat fewer calories during the meal.
5. Find a dressing you can actually eat that is low calorie and that you like.  Forget lemon on your salads.  I mean, yes, it's low calorie, but taste has to be in there somewhere, right?  I don't mind a low fat cottage cheese on a salad, though. But, on a day-to-day basis, I came up with the following dressing that is low calorie.  

Beth's Easy !@#$% Salad Dressing

Olive Oil

Red Wine Vinegar

Honey Dijon Mustard

Garlic

Salt & Pepper

Mix so it tastes good to YOU, but here's an example of the proportions:

1 tsp Olive Oil

1/4 c Red Wine Vinegar

2 tsp Honey Dijon Mustard

1 tsp minced garlic

Salt & Pepper to taste

Mix it up and pour over your salad.  That's only about 67 calories.  Compare that to Ranch and you come away with a low calorie, yet tasty alternative, if I do say so myself.

Photo Credits: Girl: www.tumblr.com, Cat: www.edeneatseverything.com

Challenge of the Day

Start eating !@#$% salads.  Yes, I'm serious.  Find a way to make them part of your nutritional health.  You will fill up a little better, help regulate your digestive tract and get some vitamins as well!

Rules

They spend all summer getting ready for the new year. They put up posters encouraging students, giving direction and yes, defining the rules of the classroom.  When the students walk into the room, they know right away that they are not walking into a playground.  This is not fun time, friends.  It's time to get to work. It's time to define the rules.

#1 - Keep track of your nutrition on My Fitness Pal (or something similar) and log daily regardless of whether you did well or not that day. Feel free to "friend" me.  My My Fitness Pal name is "beth4dieting."  Just keep logging!

#2 - Meet your caloric goals 80% of the time leaving yourself the other 20% to be human.

#3 - Exercise at least three times a week.  Cardio should be part of each work out.  Then, either isometrics or light weights.  Remember that to tone but not bulk, you should use light weights with more repetitions.  For example, bicep curls with 15 lbs, 3 sets at 12-15 repetitions per set.  Rest for a minute between each set. I will be having some blogs showcasing specific exercises, especially my bathroom exercises coming soon.

#4 - Develop your own rules of your house.  No, I don't mean the ones your kids abide by but the ones that you will abide by.  The following are some of my personal rules:

• Don't keep ice cream in the freezer.  It's too easy to snack on.  If you really, really want some ice cream, go get an ice cream cone.    Or, bring home a tiny container of ice cream and enjoy every bite in that one snack.  Don't do this often.
• Eat off smaller plates instead of large plates.
• Only eat one plate of food.
• Do not buy sugary drinks.  Stick with water, orange juice and fat free milk.
• Drink diet sodas.
• If you eat spaghetti and meatballs, invite me over.  GOTCHA!  Actually figure out where your weaknesses are and develop the rules to make them work in your life.

Having rules gives you structure.  Developing your own set of rules, makes you the owner and controller of your health.  

Challenge of the Day:

Develop the set of rules that will provide you with the ownership of your own health and in turn, destiny.

Special Thanks:

Special thanks to all of you readers, but I want to specifically thank the people in Germany.  It is amazing to me that people are reading my blog world wide.  I am partially German and I appreciate your support.  Vielen Dank für das Lesen meiner Blog!

You can lead a horse to water ...

My hands work as if they have a mind of their own as I cook Thanksgiving dinner.  The bird is buttered, rubbed and baking to a beautiful golden brown.  The eggs have been boiled and I am making my deviled eggs.  "Good thing I made a couple extra," I think. as I pop one into my mouth.  While putting out the dishes, I dip a carrot into some hummus.  I know that sounds weird, but try it, it's good (as are peppers).  I lather my angel food cake with whipped cream frosting and enjoy a mouthful as I do.  Don't mind if I do!  Potatoes are mashed and filled with sour cream, pepper and butter.  Let me try a bite to make sure it tastes right.  Sure does, let me try another - I might even dip a roll into them.  When I finally make it to the table, my stomach is telling me that I'm not really that hungry.  But, hey, it's Thanksgiving so I pile up the food and begin chowing down.  Good Lord, I make a good turkey and gravy!  I start to feel the weight of all of this food in my stomach and eventually put down my fork.  Then, I wait a little while and get some pumpkin pie with whipped cream ...

Does this sound familiar?

All the snacking that nobody sees COUNTS.  You may not think so at the time - hey it's just an EGG - that's not very fattening.  But, it counts.  If you aren't careful, a nibble of this and taste of that and pretty soon, you just don't need another bite, but you take one any way.

Accountability.

Ownership.

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink...

How many times have I heard, "Well I tried <name your diet you tried> but it didn't work.  Then, I tried <the other one you tried> and it didn't work" and so on and so on?  It's not the diet that doesn't work.  Sad to say, it is us Fat Chicks that give up on eating more healthy and exercising regularly.  The diet may have been hard (Prism was the hardest thing I've ever done for three grueling weeks before it didn't work and I returned to my previous habits) but in the end we do that, right?  Go back to fast food, don't measure our salad dressing and eat ice cream.

Taking ownership of your nutrition and exercise routine is the only way any "diet" will ever "work."  If you can admit that the reason they didn't work is that you stopped working it (withholding issues with the program itself - like Atkins ALWAYS got me sick by day 3), then you can take ownership of what you are doing with your body.

Once you take ownership, you will start to control it better.  You will "be the boss" of your nutrition and exercise.  You will "make it work."  That's why I take things in steps.  Jumping gung-ho into a program (and someone else's mindset) is difficult at best.  Take the steps to figure out what works best for you. Reduce your portion size, drink more water, (gag) eat more salads, and exercise.  Once you start taking ownership, it will finally "work."  Not because she said to, or he thinks you'd be prettier if, or that kid in third grade that said those horrible things, or  your class reunion/wedding/whatever coming up.  But, because you want it badly enough to own it.

Hand in hand with ownership is accountability.  You need someone you can talk honestly with - that will be an ear to hear you on good and bad days.  This person should cheer you on, lift you up and motivate you.  This person may also offer advice on where he/she sees you stumbling and hopefully offer guidance on how to get back up.

You can also do self-accountability with programs like My Fitness Pal or keeping a journal.  I've kind of put myself out there with this blog and on Facebook.  I give an update once a month and the support I've gotten back has been incredible. That's not for everyone, though...

Challenge of the Day:
Take ownership of your nutrition and exercise regime!  Be accountable to yourself and someone you trust! Until next time...

Measuring vs. Scale

Photo credits: www.bike-bliss.com, www.mirror.co.uk


     Do you know how hard it was to find a photo of a normal looking girl measuring herself??  I had to sift through many photos of Skinny Chicks measuring themselves and I thought, there's no way I'm putting some model checking the size of her tiny mid section on this page.  So, granny panties and all, I was relieved to find Ms. Normal up there measuring her body.  

     Ok, off my soap box, let's get down to business...

     I know you all want that magic number on the scale to be (much) smaller than it is right now.  So, do I!  I'd love to step up on it just once and see it at 150lbs.  But, alas, it doesn't ... yet.  I use weighing myself as a form of accountability.  I only weigh myself once or twice a week at most.

     Why?

     Because, if you start weighing yourself every day, you will get addicted to it.  Am I crazy?  Nope.  It's addictive to see how your weight has changed in the morning, and also to see what the food from the night before has done to your weight.  But, keep in mind that (especially we women) we deal with fluctuation in weight due to water gain.  So, weighing once, at most twice, a week is more of a general number.

     But, there are rules, my fellow Fat Chicks!  Yes!  Weigh yourself first thing in the morning, completely naked!  No hair ties, wrist watches, towels ... nothing, but good ol' glorious YOU.  And, do it before you eat so that you don't have the weight of a meal in your tummy.  And, for god's sake, don't wear shoes.

     Also, if you know you are doing what you need to do with your weight, and you have to go to the doctor's, there's nothing more discouraging than stepping onto their scale fully dressed, in the middle of the day, wearing shoes, and hearing you weigh 5lbs more than you read in the morning.  Before you step up on the scale, tell the nurse that you are monitoring your weight and do not want to know what her scale says.  Then, don't look at it.  If you are losing, I guarantee, the doctor will make some sort of comment about it.

     The weight on the scale doesn't always indicate your loss however.  You may be tightening up, losing fat but gaining muscle and since muscle weighs more than fat, find that you've gained weight.  Don't get discouraged!  Once a month, take out a measuring tape and measure your body naked.  You can find the soft, measuring tape in any sewing section and sometimes at a grocery store.  I measure my neck, bicep, chest, upper stomach, waist, belly button, lower stomach (yeah, can you tell I'm a little stomach conscious?), hips, thighs and calves.

     Keep a journal of your measurements.  It's fun to see a loss and it stinks to see a gain, but at least you have an accurate understanding of where your body is at that moment.  I keep track of my measurements by month so I can see what I have lost over all.  So, far I'm just under 15" off my whole body.  Again, don't get addicted to measuring yourself either.  Once a month - that's it!

Challenge of the Day:
Buy yourself a digital scale and a measuring tape.  Take your measurements naked and weigh yourself.  Don't let yourself get discouraged over the numbers!  You are changing them!!  Record them in an Excel spreadsheet (my personal choice) or a journal.  Weigh yourself  once or twice a week and measure your body once a month.  Until next time ...

These shoes were made for walkin'

... and that's just what they'll do ....

     Walking is such a simple exercise, isn't it?  We throw on weather appropriate clothing and walking shoes and just GO.  Of course, you may have issues where walking is difficult for you.  Check with your doctor before starting any exercise program.  But, in general ...

     If you can't afford the gym (or are uncomfortable there), and you don't have your own at-home gym, then, invest in a good pair of sweats and get yourself a good pair of walking shoes.  Be prepared to spend $75 - $100 for a good pair at Nike, etc.  If you can find a Nike outlet (or something similar), then, you may find them cheaper.  You can also invest in a pedometer (a device which tells you how many steps you have taken) but I found they fall off when I use them so I go by the amount of time I walk.

     Remember that you aren't going for a marathon here, ok?  Start with small walks like 15 minutes - 30 minutes.  Go during a time of day when you can enjoy the weather.  Sunset is a favorite time for me.  You may wind up going longer.  I sometimes walk my dog for a good 90 - 120 minutes now-a-days.

     Here's a little information on what you burn in calories while walking:

     If walking at a slow pace of 3 miles per hour (think - this is a slow dog walk) for 30 minutes, on average, you will burn 166 calories.  If walking a faster pace of 4 miles per hour (think - this is a dog drag) for 30 minutes, on average, you will burn 251 calories.  That's not chump change!

     If all things are constant and yet, you can burn 250 calories a day, you will slowly start to see a change in your body and attitude! Once you are comfortably walking regularly, you may want to start jogging.  A slow jog for 5 minutes at a time during your walk will start to prepare your muscles for a change.  Eventually, you will stretch out that 5 minutes, to where, hopefully, you are walking 5 minutes and jogging the other 25.

     Keep in mind, though, that walking, jogging or running is tough on your joints.  If you have bad knees, then wear a knee brace/wrap.  You can also use a Treadmill or Elliptical machine at the gym for the same type of work out.  The Elliptical is best on your joints and simulates jogging but without impact on the ground.

     It's time to get moving my fellow Fat Chicks!  You can do it!!

Challenge of the Day:
Get yourself a good pair of walking shoes, put on some sweats and go for a walk!