Forgiveness

How many times have I sworn to do well and then "ruined" my diet by eating tons of food and gaining weight? 

I don't know about you, but I get pissed at myself when that happens.  Disappointed, yes, but PISSED OFF.  I kick myself over it - why did I just do that?!? Then, for several days, I feel like crap, feel fat and wish I had eaten that salad. Ok, I never wish I had eaten that salad ... but maybe not the fries at least ... or maybe put half in a box or something and eat it later ...

So many topics come to my mind when I'm writing to you all ... there's so much in me that I want to share.  But, for today, I'll focus on forgiveness.  Not to those kids that were mean to you ... not that kind of forgiveness ... But to yourself.

We all screw up from time to time.  Even skinny chicks sometimes shake their heads and say things like, "Wow, I'm stuffed, I just ate like a pig!" I tend to roll my eyes at them and think "Yeah, whatever, Barbie," but all I'm saying is that it's normal to over-eat on occasion.

The "on occasion" is the important part of that entire paragraph ... but I digress ... this Blog is about Forgiveness, not Moderation (that's coming up soon).  If you had a friend, who had a bad day and said, "Hey let's go get some ice cream" and once at the ice cream parlor said, "I've had such a shitty day, I'm going to get 3 scoops! There goes my diet!"  What would you do?

Would you be angry at that person?  Would you look at them with disgust? Would you tell them that they might as well give up and never try again because they've just blown it?

Of course not.  If you are a friend, you would likely laugh and roll your eyes and get your own ice cream and then let them talk about their day over some Jamocha Almond Fudge (ok, so that's MY favorite ice cream - a weakness!, so I'm assuming it sounds delicious to all of you too).

Would you assume to find this person curled up in bed the next day?  Would you think, "Serves you right Fatty .... you ate ice cream."  Of course not.  That's ridiculous isn't it?  We would never view our friends like that!  We know they are a good person and that they just need to move on ...

So ... what makes you any different?
Why not have those same feelings about yourself?

Don't you deserve the right to have a bad day and talk with a friend over <name your weakness>? Does that moment have to "ruin" your diet?  Mean you've failed ahhhh-gain?

No, of course not.  It's one meal among many.  So your splurged that day ... the next day you get up and keep going.  I'll soon be writing about the steps to finding a healthier you ... steps I have discovered in my life and am using right now on my journey. I weigh 223 and I'm down from 232.  It's going slowly and sometimes I screw up. But, it's still going and I haven't stopped.

I did have a couple of pre-menstrual days last week where it seemed like I could eat my arm if I had pepper, but I got through those days and kept going.  I forgave myself for it.  It's a good feeling that I don't have to be perfect, that I can screw up sometimes and still be a good human being.  It's ok that this month is a little slower for me than last month ... but I'm still doing my steps (we'll get to those) and since I am in it for life, MY LIFE, that one meal won't really matter in the long run if the majority of my meals are on track.

Challenge of the Day
Ease up on yourself, Beautiful ... I want you to let yourself be human.  You don't need to be perfect.  You don't need to eat like a super model.  Just be you and understand there are going to be good and bad days for you.  Days when your hormones kick into gear and all you want is a mantra of "chips 'n' chocolate" and days when you're depressed and need an extra helping.  The trick is that those days need to be in the minority and you need to be working the steps in the majority of your days.  But, we're getting there .... so easy does it, Chick.

Oh yeah ... maybe throwing those arrogant, ignorant, mean-spirited, immature kids that made fun of you a bone wouldn't hurt YOU either.  In fact, you may find some peace in the long run .... Love ya ... until next time ...